Blinded Fate
by TeamAlphaQ
Summary: Oh hey, you must be the therapist. You know, it's my fault I got captured. I don't want EJ to blame himself. Eh, who am I kidding? He's probably glad I'm gone. Eyeless Jack x Ben Drowned. Alternating perspectives within chapters. Rated T for suggestive themes and gore.
1. Beginnings

_A/N: Greetings to all reading this! This is a story idea that was suggested to me by_ _WCDragonS. ! I am really excited to write this! It's going to be in a different style. If you don't like it, tell me. Otherwise, ENJOY!_

Ben

Oh, hi.

Sorry for not sounding that enthusiastic. I never asked to be fucking captured by some crazy government agency for 'study'. I'm not a fairy you know! You must be the therapist those men said would come.

I really don't want you here.

You know, when someone tells you to go away, the polite thing to do is to leave and not sit down and make yourself at home. You're ignoring me aren't you.

Well fuck you! Did you know that therapist spells the rapist? Bet you don't want people to think of you like that, huh.

My name?

Ben, Ben Drowned.

Why does everyone ask if I'm joking? Of course I'm not joking! Will you stop asking that! MY FUCKING NAME IS BEN!

You'll really call me Ben? Promise?

I guess you can't be that bad... Meh, who am I kidding, I already know I'm gonna hate you.

I've already told them who I am. I'm like Link, this character from a video game, how hard is that to understand? I'm a _virus_!

I suppose there's no point hiding the fact that I'm a killer. I'm pretty proud of it actually. My entire family is proud. Then again, we all love to kill.

Fuck no. I'm not talking about them. You don't deserve to know and besides, the boss would kill me.

The Boss? Well, I guess I could talk about him. Not like you'd believe me anyways. He's.. an interesting character…

He's pretty tall, kinda pale, dosen't really have many facial features to speak of. Trust me though, if you saw him you would know it was him.

He's probably the reason EJ hasn't come to stupidly throw his life away in an attempt to save me. EJ? Oh he's-he's no one im-

Yeah I know, I speak fluent bullshit. Just deal with it okay? I don't really feel like talking about him right now.

The truth is, he probably wouldn't rush to save me. We just had a huge fight, what, a couple days ago?

A couple weeks! SHIT!

Oh well, I guess he really does hate me…

I already told you, I don't want to talk about it.

Why don't you ask some normal therapist questions? Like my age for example.

I'm sixteen! Bet you would never have guessed that! I look older, but don't let that deceive you. I'm still just a little child inside.

Ha! You're not buying any of it, are you? That's okay, because eventually you _will_ believe me.

How on earth did you get a full page of notes from that?

What's that? No that buzzing sound! It's fucking annoying as hell.

A timer? Oh yeah! I guess they only pay you for so much.

Well then, goodbye for now, The Rapist. Haha, that's never gonna get old.

 **EJ**

 **Hi Jane, mind if I sit here? Thanks.**

 **Yeah, I really haven't been myself lately, not since-**

 **Nobody want's to talk about it! Why are you all pretending like he never existed? Ben was important! He mattered. How can you act so fucking cold?**

 **Sorry, that was mean. I'm just upset about the whole thing. I'm upset he got captured and I'm fucking angry that Slender won't let me go after him.**

 **Not that I'd be much help since I'm blind and all. Heck, Ben's probably still furious with me. He wouldn't care if I tried to save him. I'm betting he would laugh when they blew my brains out.**

 **What can I say Jane? I'm a downer!**

 **I just hope they aren't torturing him or something… What? I thought it was a legitimate concern! You have no idea what they could be doing to him.**

 **Huh? Yeah, you're right. I do still care about him. Is that a crime?**

 ***sigh* I just, miss him, you know? Two weeks Jane, two weeks and nobody's heard anything. He's never coming back at this rate.**

 **I'm sorry, I'm kind of unloading everything on you. Oh, really? Thanks, I think I will keep talking then.**

 **No one else is willing to listen. I tried talking to Jeff, but he wouldn't have any of it. He never has been much of a listener anyway.**

 **Shit, this house is way to quiet. It just makes awkward pauses more awkward.**

 **When Ben was here it didn't do that.**

 **Haha. I guess you could say it was because he was an annoying little shit, but I prefer to think of it as him not liking the quiet. He never could just sit in silence. Silence is a perfect opportunity to make a sarcastic remark and everyone knows that Ben loved to do that.**

 **Fuck, I'm talking past tense.**

 **Yeah, I know it won't make much of a difference, but I can't give up on him. Talking about him like he's dead is only going to make this worse for me. I already feel guilty as fuck.**

 **Why? It was my fault, Jane! It's my fault he's gone.**

 **No, I'm not just saying that! I'm serious about it, I-**

 **The whole story?**

 **But are you sure you want to hear it? It's kind of long and boring... And depressing, that too.**

 **It would be nice to talk about it though.**

 **Promise not to psychoanalyze me?**

 **Fine, I'll tell you.**

 **Don't say I didn't warn you.**

 **Well actually, it's getting kind of late Jane. We should probably do something productive before dinner, after all, I need food. And it's kind of a long story.**

 **This kind of makes you a therapist!**

 **Wanna hear something Ben told me? If you put a space between the E and the R of therapist, it spells: The Rapist! It does sound like something he would say, doesn't it? Well, bye.**

 _A/N: Well that was a confusing start! Don't worry, it will get better. This is a new style of writing here and I'm not sure if I like it. What do you think? Leave a comment or PM me if you think I need to change something! I could totally do the other side of the conversations. :D_

 _Just a note, if it's not already out yet the first chapter of Ticciwork is finished and will be posted shortly!_


	2. Ben 1

_A/N: I just couldn't sleep knowing I left poor ben alone like that any longer. So, here's a new chapter! I hope you don't kill me because he doesn't get out of the room._

 _Heck, if I get my way, he might never get out of there ;-)_

Why are you back?

At this point, I thought I'd never see you again. Not that I really wanted to see you again anyway. I'm just tired of getting needles stuck in me all the time. Even if I'm just a virus it still hurts like hell.

Out of all things you could have asked you asked how I was?

Well, let me tell you how I am.

I feel like shit. but is that any real surprise? After all I have spent the entire day getting poked and prodded and shit constantly. Then again it's not like you care. You're being paid to be kind!

Yup, I do miss my family.

I already told you last time I don't want to talk about it.

Why do therapists always think talking will make everything better?

Well, I guess you're right about one thing. I really do miss them. Maybe I could talk about them just a little bit but don't expect me to say much. You're just trying to get information out of me. Like I'm going to believe this is confidential.

How do I describe them all. I guess I could start anywhere… How about here.

 _I stretch and toss my controller onto the bed. I've been playing GTA for seven straight hours._

 _I feel hunger crawling at my stomach and I decided that maybe it's time to get out my room and eat something. Slenderman had called us down to dinner ages ago but I had ignored him. I slowly stretch and get up. My bones crack alarmingly but I ignore them because they don't actually hurt._

 _Quietly I open my door and make my way down the stairs. Each one creeks in a different way._

 _I've come to love those little sounds._

 _Bright light spill from the living room as I walk towards it. I wonder briefly if Slenderman is there and if he would be willing to make me something to eat. Probably not. I might have been able to convince Laughing jack to give me some candy but I'm pretty sure he's already gone._

 _As I step into the luminous room I take a moment to analyze what's going on. Naturally, the most prominent thing in the room is probably Jeff, who is throwing knives at the mantelpiece._

 _For some reason Eyeless Jack thought that it would be a good idea to get Jeff a set of throwing knives last year and ever since then he loves to try to stick them into the spaces between the bricks of the fireplace. Not surprisingly, he's very good. Nobody's sure about whether to be impressed or terrified._

 _I'm always afraid that Jeff is going to decide to throw one of them at me. Not that it hasn't happened but usually he isn't trying to actually kill me just scare me a bit._

 _Next to him sits Jane. She holds a book in her hand but she doesn't seem to be actually reading it. Of course the whole point or the novel is to deter anyone who might try to start up a conversation with her. Sometimes she just isn't in the mood for idle chit chat._

 _My sister Sally sits on the floor playing a board game with Clockwork. Clockwork makes a random move and Sally quickly makes one of her own knocking Clock's little game piece off the board._

" _I won!" Sally exclaimed delightedly._

 _Clockwork just smiles wryly. "You with every time sweetie. Do you want to play again?"_

 _Watching the two is Ticci Toby. Other than the occasional twitch he sits perfectly still. I'm pretty sure he's conscious but then again, with those goggles and scarf you never really can tell, especially because he twitches whether awake or not._

 _At last my eyes fall on EJ. He sits at the table with Toby. For reasons unfathomable he holds a book in his hands even though he can't read a word of it._

No he's not illiterate! It's amazing how stupid you people can be.

As the name _Eyeless_ Jack implies, he's completely blind because he has no eyes.

Would you stop asking questions and listen?

Thank you. Now, where was I? Oh, yeah.

 _Soft brown hair pokes out from underneath his worn blue hoodie. The grimy mask that covers his face has black goo seeping from the eye holes but none of it drips on the pages of his book. He hears me come in even though no one else has. Slowly he brings his head up so that it feels like he's staring at me and asks in a voice that hints at sleepiness, "Hey Ben, what's up?"_

Funny, even then, his voice made my heart race _._

" _Oh, nothing much." I say casually as I walk into the room. "Just got done playing some GTA."_

" _Did you win?" EJ asks with a touch of amusement to his voice. Even though I know the action will be lost on him I roll my eyes._

" _You don't 'win' GTA." I say with a snort. "You complete everything. And to answer you question, yes I played it to 100% completion. I am the best at games."_

 _Sally glares at me indignantly. "I win at games just as much as you do Ben."_

 _As I walk by her I fluff her downy curls lightly. "Of course you do sweetheart. But admit it, I am the king of video games."_

 _EJ laughs softly at our exchange. "Well then, oh master of video games, is there something you need?" He's teasing me but I don't really mind._

 _I nod then remember he can't see me. "Actually yes, there is." I say. "I'm kind of hungry."_

 _EJ puts his book down and gets to his feet slowly, stretching his long arms and legs before he walks over to me. Without meaning to, I notice the height difference between EJ and I. Sometimes I wish I could see eye to eye with him but normally I don't really mind._

" _Come on then." He says. "Let's go get you a sandwich or something." I follow EJ delightedly as though I'm 7 and not 17. When I ask for something people usually end up giving in to me but somehow the fact it was EJ made it all seem special._

 _Pinkie Pie sits in the middle of the kitchen floor eating something I'd rather not think about. "Oh hi there!" She says delightedly. "It's so good to see you both!"_

 _I smile at her. "It's good to see you to Pinkie." I try not to retch at the smell leaking from the recently used muffin pan. "Whatcha been up to?"_

 _Pinkie Pie finishes what looks to be a cupcake before answering. "Killing people eating them. Killing more people eating them to. The usual!"_

" _I guess we all have to do something with our lives." I say graciously. After all, I myself am killer. "Although honestly, eating them? Is that really necessary?"_

" _I will have you know they taste quite good. EJ will attest to that fact himself." Pinkie says excitedly._

" _Yep!" agrees EJ "Right you are Pinkie although I usually just go for the kidneys."_

 _Pinkie Pie bounces to her feet. "Plus eating people fills me with happy bouncy bubbles! What's not to love?"_

 _As I listen to my friend talk I relax. These monsters are my family_ and _I think as I look sidelong at EJ,_ Maybe something more.

Well that's my family. I know it sounds like hell but it really isn't. I love them all. Besides, where else would I fit in?

Oh that's real nice the insane asylum. Then again, I must have been truly crazy to end up here. That or just really really stupid. As _the Rapist_ here do you have any thoughts on the matter?

That never gets old. Sorry sorry I'll call you Sarah...

Man that makes you pissed. But seriously what a name! The rapist...

I suppose you could say at that point a relationship with EJ was impossible. Something I could only hope for.

I guess I got it anyway though, and lost it... And I end up with depression. Hey, you have to leave right? There is a timer after all.

Yeah sure I guess I'll talk to you more next time. That is, if I'm still here. If they have already killed me. Well, until next time, what did you say your name was? Sarah?

I remembered!

Oh don't be so mean. I have a short memory.

Goodbye Sarah.

 _A/N: Ready for a weird story? To bad. When I went to get this off of google drive I found that my sister had put a little note on the bottom of the page for me to find._

 ** _#NoHomoTho_**

 _You just can't make this stuff up... Seriously though, is this from something? My sister can't be that creative._


	3. EJ 1

_A/N: What's this? Another chapter? I know, I know, calm down, I don't plan on making this a habit or anything but it just happened to be finished and WHY NOT?_

 _FYI, I am currently working on chapter three of TiccTock! That should be done… sometime or other… Sorry, I've been really busy. One of my friends nearly committed suicide recently and I'm still trying to cope with the fallout._

 _Enough about my life, (This is usually where I put my 'enjoy' but in light of the events I have just mentioned and a very insightful comment from WSDragonS. F. EVER I have decided to remove it.)_

 **Who is it?**

 **Jane, go away.**

 **I said go away goddammit! Can't you see this is a bad time?**

 **Fine, you can come in.**

 **I was arguing with Jeff. It was about Ben. He blames me for him getting caught…**

 **I know! Two and a half weeks of never talking about him and that's the first thing he has to say about it?**

 **All I did was mention Ben. Then Jeff just spins around, grabs me by the collar, pulls me down to eye level and shouts, 'You don't have the right to talk about him! You're the reason he's gone.'**

 **It wasn't mean it was true.**

 **Oh yeah, I was going to tell you about Ben and I! That would be nice.**

 **I'm not really sure where to start.**

 **That would have to be when I made him a sandwich**

 **Hey, don't laugh! It's a really good story!**

 **Okay, I will. I don't remember why I was making him a ham sandwich but I don't think that's important. Let's see…**

 _ **I listen to Pinky Pie and Ben jabber on as I think on my predicament.**_

 _ **Why oh why had I ever agreed to make Ben a sandwich. Not only am I blind but I have no cooking skills whatsoever. Even a simple ham sandwich eludes me.**_

" _ **Gotta go guys!" Pinky announces. "See ya latter!"**_

 _ **I hear Ben's slight shift and know he's looking at me. I busy myself with looking for the bread knife. The one thing I'm sure I can do right. Then I have to find the bread. That's not quite as easy.**_

 _ **I inhale slowly, trying to sort through all the scents and find the one my brain has labeled 'bread'.**_

" _ **Looking for this?" I turn and reach out just in time. The sound of plastic flying through the air is followed by the bread bag landing in my hands. Ben's soft laugh makes me smile as well.**_

" _ **Thanks Ben." I say as I turn back to the task at hand. I walk to the fridge and open it. A cacophony of smells hit my nostrils. I start digging around, trying to distinguish between one thing and another. I pull out a package of food at random.**_

" _ **That's sausage EJ." Ben's tone is one of barely contained mirth. Gently he attempts to pry the food from my hands but I resist.**_

" _ **Don't worry Ben, I got this." I insist. Hadn't I said I would make him a sandwich?**_

 _ **He pulls back and leans against the counter. The sound of his hands moving across the marble surface hisses in the silence. "So EJ, how've you been?"**_

" _ **Great." My tone is one of general indifference to the question but something in me jumps a little. "You?"**_

" _ **Meh, same old, same old." Ben sounds disinterested. He shifts and I wonder what expression he has on his face. Is he smiling with a glazed look in those pitch black eyes or does he look bored... I shake the question from my brain at once. What's the point of trying understand something I never can?**_

 _ **I carry what ingredients I've found back to the counter and begin making a sandwich. I should be paying attention to what I'm doing but for some reason I can't stop straining to pick up every sound Ben makes, every small shift of movement, every breath.**_

 _ **That in of itself is not unusual. When everything is silent I always feel hyper aware of everything but this time it's different and I'm not quite sure why. Ben has always been around after all. Why should I give a damn about him? Most of the time he's around me is spent making sarcastic remarks about everything but right now he's just being quiet.**_

" _ **Something on your mind?" I manage to ask before I can start second guessing myself.**_

" _ **It's nothing…" Ben trails off uncertainly. A second later I hear his grunt of effort as he leaps up and the subtle**_ **whoomph** _**as he lands on the countertop. "Does being blind ever bother you?" He asks suddenly.**_

 _ **I'm taken aback by the question. Ben has never been one for asking any questions more personal than 'how are you'. Feeling very confused, I answer, "Um, not really…'' I realize my hands are frozen awkwardly before me. Quickly I bring them down to the counter where they find a sandwich. I spend a moment wondering how it had gotten there before remembering that I had just made it. "I guess it would be nice to see what people's expressions look like. I mean," I pick up the ham sandwich and walk over to where Ben sits to hand it to him. "I know what most expressions sound like but it never does them justice."**_

 _ **Ben takes a bite out of the sandwich and gags. "EJ, what did you put in this thing?"**_

 _ **I cringe back in shame. "I don't actually know." I instantly feel bad. Why on earth did I offer to make Ben food if I knew it wouldn't turn out well? "You don't have to eat it if you don't want…" I say hurriedly.**_

" _ **Naw, I'll eat it. After all, you did make it for me." Just to prove it Ben takes another large bite.**_

 _ **Underneath my mask I feel my grey skin grow warm. "If you're sure…"**_

" _ **It's fine EJ, relax!" The next few minutes are filled with the sounds of eating. I just stand there awkwardly, unsure what to do with myself. At last I decide to go stand next to Ben. My side brushes against his legs as I lean against the countertop, arms crossed over my chest.**_

" _ **All done!" Ben announces. "And I haven't thrown up yet."He hops off the counter and stumbles into me. I reach out and steady him without thinking.**_

" _ **Sorry." Ben mutters, sounding embarrassed. "Hey EJ, do you wanna play video games with me?" He asks brightly.**_

 _ **Disappointment crawls into my stomach. "I'm sorry Ben, I can't."**_ **But I want to.** _**I do not add.**_

" _ **Aw come on, there's no rule against it! Please, it would be so much more fun with you." Ben pleads.**_

 _ **I touch my mask lightly and say. "No, Ben, I physically can't. I'm blind remember."**_

" _ **Yeah but I don't see why- Oh." Ben sounds dejected.**_

" _ **It's fine." I touch his shoulder lightly and walk out of the kitchen before Ben could apologize.**_

 _ **I walk up the stairs, moving like a shadow. No one tries to talk to me. I don't exactly give off welcoming vibes. Once I reach my room I disappear inside gratefully.**_

 _ **I've been told there isn't a light in my room but I personally can't verify that because I've never been able to see anything anyway. I take three strides forward and fall sideways, landing on my bed, just as I knew I would.**_

 _ **Before today I had never seen my blindness as a disability, just a minor nuisance but now, as I think about Ben I realize just how much I want to be able to see.**_

 **Yeah, it is pretty depressing. I try not to think about it too much.**

 **Besides, I pretty much know exactly what Ben looks like now…**

 **And yes Jane that was meant to be dirty.** **Hey, don't throw a pillow at me! We're dating!**

 **Were…**

 **Can you leave now? I've done my talking and I suddenly feel like shit.**

 **Bye Jane.**


	4. Ben 2

_A/N: Hey guys. I just want to say that my friend is doing a lot better and I am too! As an avid CreepyPasta fan himself, he has given me some much needed advice on this actually._

 _So at this point I feel that it is safe to say, enjoy._

Yo Sarah!

If you're here it must be a bad day!

You know, that _was_ rude. I'll make sure it's less obvious next time.

Okay, I'm done. I don't like talking to anyone here but you. Everyone else is mean but you seem pretty cool.

Not that I want to be friends or anything, I'm just making a statement of fact.

You know, I've been thinking about life here and I've come to realize that it's not all that bad. I mean, it could be better but it's not so bad for a prison. Look how much room I have!

How _am_ I feeling? Well, I'm not feeling quite as bad as last time but not great either.

There is one thing that would make me feel better…

Would you be able to get my hat back? They've probably stopped examining it and I miss it.

Thanks! I knew you were cool.

And then you go and ruin it by mentioning EJ! I suppose I should expect nothing less of a _rapist._

It's not hurting my mental state by not talking about it! I don't have anything to say that you actually want to hear. You'll just listen till the timer buzzes and you can leave.

Stop lying! You don't care!

And it still hurts.

Before we started dating? I don't know… I don't really want to feel depressed again. Besides, once I escape I want to have already gotten over EJ. I know he'll have gotten over me.

Well, maybe just one story wouldn't hurt…

I would have to place the time I realized just how much I cared about him a couple weeks after the sandwich. Oh yeah, it was terrible by the way. I'm pretty sure he put hummus and jelly on it along with salami and Swiss. I ate it anyway though.

My crush on him had only been getting worse over this time but I continued to convince myself that it was impossible.

That is until EJ lost his mask…

" _Where is it!" The shout causes my feet to become entangled with each other and fell me. As my face hits the floor I hear another yell of frustration. "It was right here!"_

 _I knew who it was at once. EJ._

 _Cradling my pounding skull I get to my feet and walk towards EJ's door still seeing stars. Cautiously I knock on his door._

 _It's flung open by an absolutely furious maskless EJ. "What do you wa- Oh, hey Ben."_

 _I grin past the pain in my head. He always knows if it's me. "Hey EJ, can you keep your fussing down a bit. You scared me so much I fell over."_

 _EJ runs his fingers though his hair and sighs. "Sorry Ben, are you okay?" His anger has completely dissipated. In its place is worry._

 _I look up at the much taller man and nod. "Yeah, I'll live. Not so sure about those brain cells though." I give a small laugh then ask, "So, what did you lose?"_

 _EJ groans. "My mask, I put it by my bed last night, right where I always do, and now it's gone."_

 _I furrow my brow in concern and ask, "Do you want any help?"_

 _EJ freezes and looks down in my general direction. His black oozing sockets don't give any indication as to what he's thinking but his body language is that of someone desperate for help. "You don't have to." His voice sounds adorably awkward._

" _Nonsense," I insist. "you're my best friend! Of_ course _I have to help you." I gently push past him and reach up as far as I can to pat his head. EJ's hand shoots up and catches mine in a vice like grip, and inch from his hair, stopping it._

 _We stand like this for a second before EJ shakes himself and drops my hand. "Sorry, I get jumpy."_

 _I shake my head in amazement. "You're scarily good at that."_

 _He says nothing. Instead, he walks past me into his room with a sigh._

 _I squint into the dark interior of EJ's room. "Do you have a light?" I ask as I step inside and shut the door. Scant moonlight streaming in through the open window keeps me from tripping but it doesn't do much else._

" _Nope, don't have one, don't need one." EJ reaches blindly under his bed and waves his hand around wildly trying to find his mask._

" _Okay." I get down on my hands and knees to join the hunt._

 _After ten minutes of fruitless searching I collapse onto EJ's bed in exhaustion. We had found nothing._

 _EJ sits next to me, a dejected look on his face. "I'll never find it." He moans in despair._

 _My throat fills with pity for my blind friend. I hate seeing him like this, in pain. "Don't worry, we'll find it eventually." I pat his arm in reassurance. "I won't give up."_

 _In that strange way of his, EJ freezes and turns away. "Thanks." He mumbles._

 _Briefly, I wonder why EJ turned away from me. Every time I try to get close to him he seems to distance himself from me. I'm not really sure why I keep trying. Why on earth would EJ ever care about someone like me?_

 _Determined to break the silence I say, "Why don't we go downstairs to look."_

 _EJ covers his face. "No."_

" _Come on, if we stay up here we'll never find it." I insist. I consider tugging on his arm to get him to follow me but after his reaction to me patting his shoulder I decide against it._

" _But I don't have my mask on." EJ moans._

 _I blink. "What's the big deal? Haven't we all already seen you without it on?"_

" _Well, no actually." EJ says flatly._

" _But I've seen you without it on plenty of times." I feel confusion swirling around me. Had I really hit my head that hard?_

" _That's different." EJ scratches the back of his neck, clearly embarrassed. "_ You're _different." He trails off._

 _Shock travels through me and puts a blush on my face._ Special… " _Oh." I mutter lamely. Here I had been thinking that EJ didn't care about me, that he was annoyed with me, even but in reality that wasn't so. EJ actually_ trusted _me!_

 _Full of new purpose I leap to my feet. EJ looks up at me in surprise. "What are you-"_

" _Don't worry EJ, you stay right here and I'll find your mask!" Before he can protest I cross to the door, fling it open, and race down the hall, smiling all the way._

 _Almost at once I run into a stationary Ticci Toby. I make a sound of annoyance. "If you wanted to be a lawn ornament Toby you should have chosen a different line of work."_

 _Toby taps his foot and laughs. "Come on Ben, that's not nice." To my surprise he pulls EJ's mask from his hoodie. "If I put this on and pretend to be EJ will you be kind to me?"_

" _You stole EJ's mask?" Toby's nerve never ceases to amaze me. "Give it back!" I insist._

 _Toby only cackles. "Aw, are you trying to get back your boyfriends mask." Holding the mask out of reach he continues to taunt me. "Come and get it."_

 _Pathetically I jump up and try to grab it. "Stop it Toby that belongs to EJ!" I choose to ignore the 'boyfriend' jibe for the time being._

" _I stole it fair and square. If EJ wants it he can come and get it himself instead of sending an elf to fetch it for him." Toby is clearly having more fun than I am at this game._

" _Just give it back!" I make a wild snatch for it, miss and fall to the floor, hitting my head for the second time in a row._

 _Toby, the bastard, puts his foot on my back and announces, "And the winner is, Ticci Toby!"_

 _Suddenly the weight is lifted from me. I turn in time to see EJ, face full of anger, knock Toby off of me. He bares his sharp teeth at Toby and snarls, "Leave Ben alone." Forcefully, he takes his mask back from the stunned Toby and puts it on._

 _Toby shakes himself then tilts his head. "Clocky's right, you guy's_ would _make a cute couple!" Then he's gone._

 _EJ stands still for a minute then clears his throat. "Are you okay?"_

" _Yeah." I mutter still dizzy from hitting my head. "I just hit my head."_

" _Let me help you up." EJ reaches out a hand. I grab it and he pulls me up so fast that I crash into him. I feel his warmth radiating through his thin tee shirt._

 _Quickly we step apart. After another moment of awkward silence EJ says, "Thanks for the help." Then he's gone._

That wasn't so bad actually. I feel a lot better now!

I guess I could tell you more later…

But I still want to forget. If EJ doesn't care then I won't either.

Because I just know he won't care! After what I did…

No Sarah, I can't tell you. You would hate me too. Just because it's your job to be nice doesn't mean you can't hate me inside.

You're my friend? Really? I never said I wanted a friend, but…

You're not so bad!

Just remember my hat, okay? Thanks.

Bye, see you next time.

 _A/N: Thanks to a higher power Ben is officially going to live! I was honestly considering leaving him in that cell to rot. Now the last chapter is going to be the tearful reunion between Ben and EJ. ^.^ how sweet!_


	5. EJ 2

_A/N: And I'm back from the dead once more to give you-_

 _CREEPYPASTA! *cheap applause soundtrack sputters and dies*_

 _This chapter has been brewing in my mind since day one. Also, before this chapter begins I feel the need to put some reassurance up here._ _This is not smut_ _. You are going to be reading it and think it's going to become smutty but you're wrong because I don't write smut._

 _With that out of the way, Enjoy!_

 _ ***Knocking***_

 _ **It's me, EJ.**_

 **Can I come in?**

 **Thanks Jane, it's been a long day.**

 **I didn't sleep well last night. I dreamt that I found Ben dead.**

 **It was awful but it did remind me of something. Something really awkward actually.**

 **Do you remember it? Sally running down and telling everyone that she had found me in Ben's bed cuddling him like an oversized teddy bear? No, nothing?**

 **Ah yes, now you remember! Don't laugh at me, it's not what you think!**

 **No really, it's not!**

 **Um, well I could tell you that story…**

 ***Fiddles with mask* Are you sure? It's kinda…**

 **Fine, you are the therapist after all!**

 **Well, this is the story about Ben and his dreams…**

 _ **I lay in bed, unable to sleep. Normally sleep deprivation doesn't bother me but right now I really want to sleep. Outside my window I hear rain beating a monotonous pattern into the ground. Usually, weather doesn't affect us but whenever Slenderman is feeling especially moody it will be either rainy, windy or a combination thereof.**_

 _ **I reach out and touch my mask. At once I'm reliving the events of earlier this week, when Ben had helped me retrieve my mask from Toby.**_

 _ **Somehow the action calms my mind. At long last I feel my mind slipping into oblivion. As my heavy eyelids close someone screams.**_

" _ **No, I'm sorry don't-" I sit bolt upright in bed. Was that-?**_

" _ **Please don't hurt him, I'm sorry!" It's Ben and he sounds distressed.**_

 _ **I quickly slide out of bed and make my way to the door, not even bothering to put a shirt on. I open my door and listen for footsteps. When I hear nothing I quickly leave my room and make my way towards the stairs.**_

 _ **I know the path to Ben's room almost as well as I know the path to my own. As I walk I can't help but worry about what's happened to him. What on earth would make him scream like that?**_

" _ **No, you can't!" Ben screams from above. "I love him, don't kill him."**_

 _ **How am I the only one hearing him? I think as I race the rest of the way to Ben's room.**_

 _ **As I reach the spot I know his door will be I hear him moan, "Please don't be dead, please- No!"**_

 _ **I fling the door open to find a thrashing and groaning Ben. No one else is in the room. It's just a bad dream.**_

 _ **After quietly closing the door I go to Ben. Carefully I reach out and touch his forehead. "It's okay Ben, you were only dreaming." I mutter into the darkness. Ben trembles beneath my hand.**_

 _ **Slowly I turn back to the door, intent on returning to my room before Ben wakes up but before I can-**_

" _ **Don't go, please." Ben wraps his arms around my bare chest to keep me from leaving. I feel his uncontrollable shaking worsen. "Stay – with me."**_

 _ **As usual I tense up.**_ **What do I do now?** _**I panic. Knowing this is no time for indecisiveness I steal my nerves and turn back to Ben. With a deep breath I sit down next to Ben on his bed then, before I can think twice, I grab him and pull him onto my lap.**_

 _ **Ben hesitates for a moment then curls up in my arms, still quivering. I draw him as close to me as possible and hold him there, protecting him from the night.**_

" _ **What was your nightmare about?" I ask at last.**_ **Maybe talking about it will make it better** _ **, I reason.**_

" _ **They were torturing you." Ben's teeth knock together. "They killed you and I couldn't stop them." I smell the tears leak from Ben's eyes and feel their cold wetness as they drop into my lap.**_

" _ **It's ok Ben, I'm fine." I reassure him.**_

 _ **He takes a shuddering breath. "I couldn't bear it if anything happened to you."**_

 _ **I burry my face into his blond locks and inhale deeply to calm myself. "I know." I murmur into his hair.**_

" _ **No, you don't get it, I love you EJ." Ben insists.**_

 _ **For once I don't freeze or second guess myself, instead I just whisper into his ear, "I love you too Ben."**_

 _ **Ben shifts and I can feel his gaze. "You do?"**_

 _ **I chuckle softly. "Of course I do! I just didn't think you felt the same way so I never said anything."**_

 _ **Ben's shivering subsides and at last his tears stop flowing. Satisfied that he is feeling better, I ask, "Can I go back to my room now?"**_

 _ **I'm shocked when Ben pushes me back onto his bed. The movement knocks most of the breath from my lungs in an Oof.**_

" _ **Would you mind staying with me the rest of the night?" Ben mumbles, embarrassed. "I won't be able to sleep otherwise."**_

 _ **I know he's messing with me but I accept the invitation eagerly by hugging him tight to my chest. "That sounds good." I whisper.**_

 _ **We lay awake for a while, neither of us speaking. I keep my arms wrapped around Ben protectively until I hear his breathing deepen as he drifts off to sleep.**_

 _ **At last I close my own empty eyes and follow suit.**_

 **It makes a whole lot more sense now doesn't it? I never did anything other than hug him!**

 **Just because everyone else thought differently doesn't make them right! They were wrong!**

 **Ah well, after that we started dating. It was awesome until it wasn't.**

 **Well excuse me for being obvious!**

 **Yeah, I guess I can tell you more next time. It feels nice to share this with someone who cares.**

 **You do care don't you?**

 **Okay, good.**

 **Well I guess I'll leave now.**

 _ **Bye Jane.**_

 _A/N: *Eating a block of cheese and cackling* GOod! GOod!_


	6. Ben 3

_**A/N: Have you ever stared long and hard at a chapter you just wrote and wondered: What the fuck was I thinking?**_

 _ **Well, I do. Kind of a lot actually. I had one of those moments while rereading my last chapter. It was a weird chapter…**_

 _ **Anyways, enjoy!**_

Hey Sarah!

I have finally discovered why they send you in only once a week!

When you show up I feel really happy and that lasts for about six days so when my next therapy appointment rolls around, I've already used up all the happiness from my last one.

I'm very proud of myself for figuring it out.

A reward? But I don't need a-

OH MY FUCKING GOD, YOU BROUGHT BACK MY HAT!

Thank you thank you thank you!

You are amazing Sarah. I'm really glad that I have you as a therapist and not someone else.

How've I been?

I've been missing EJ a lot recently. I can't seem to get my mind off of him.

I _would_ like to tell you a story!

When we started dating… Well that is a _very_ awkward story actually.

Mostly because I don't remember becoming EJ's boyfriend. I kind of just woke up one morning and _boom_ I was dating EJ.

I'll start from where I remember…

 _I wake up to find myself entangled with EJ._

 _His arms are loosely curled around me and our legs are entwined. As I lay there, my head against his chest, listening to his heart beat, I wonder what had happened._

 _That probably should have worried me more than it did. As it is, I decide to enjoy these blissful moments of half sleep by curling into EJ's warm arms. A happy little sigh escapes my lips._

 _In response to my consciousness, EJ tightens his embrace slightly without awakening._

 _During those moments I try to remember the events of last night. With a sudden rush of horror I check to make sure nothing hurts. When I find everything as it should be I force myself to be calm. If anything had_ happened _I'm sure I would have remembered._

 _My peace is broken by the door creaking open. I struggle to sit up but EJ refuses to let me go. Even in sleep he's stronger than I am._

" _Ben, why is EJ hugging you like an oversized teddy bear?" Sally's petrified whimper comes from the open door._

 _I cringe. "The thing is Sal, I don't actually remember."_

 _She stands there a second longer, terror clear on her face, before she shrieks and flees the room._

 _The noise awakens EJ at last. As he sits up and stretches, the blankets fall away to reveal-_

" _EJ, why aren't you wearing a shirt?" I can't help but ask._

Not that I have anything against seeing Jack shirtless, in fact, I like it but at that exact moment I was busy wondering what had happened so…

 _He gives me a sharp toothed grin. "Don't you remember?" When I continue to stare in confusion he laughs. "If you don't remember then I'm not going to tell you."_

 _I open my mouth in protest but don't have a chance to say anything because EJ picks that exact moment to scoop me into his arms and carry me out of my room bridal style_

" _Hey! Will you put me down?" I exclaim._

 _EJ just laughs evilly and starts to shift his arms as if to drop me._

I feel the need to explain just how fucking terrifying this is.

I'm 5' 7". That's a reasonable height. I'm not that upset about my shortness because I'm still pretty terrifying. Jeff and Ticci Toby are about 5' 9". A bit taller but I can still see almost eye to eye with them.

EJ is 6'4". That's _really_ far off the ground. I don't particularly want to fall from that height. Ever.

" _No, not like that!" I cling to his neck in fear. Thankfully, EJ tightens his hold._

" _So, what did Sally want?" EJ asks conversationally as if he isn't carrying me while not wearing his mask or shirt._

" _She wanted to know why you were cuddling me like a teddy bear." I look up into his 'eyes' and add. "I would also like to know the answer to that."_

 _He shrugs. "It's not my fault if you don't remember." He stops at his door and shoves it open without putting me down._

 _I squint around his dark room trying to differentiate between 'wall' and 'floor' and 'bed'. "You sure you don't have any lights in here?" I ask hopefully._

" _I'm sure." EJ, the blind guy, proceeds to then throw me in the general direction of his bed._

" _What the-_ oomph!" _I land in a heap on his bed. I clutch the sheets silently thanking them for being closer to the ground. I look up to see EJ close the door and rummage around in the dark. "Are you going to give me a hint at what happened last night?" I ask hesitantly._

 _The bed next to me sinks slightly underneath EJ's weight. Squinting past the dark I see that EJ is struggling into a shirt. "I wouldn't worry too much Ben." EJ says with a dark chuckle. "We're dating so it's not like whatever it was isn't going to happen again."_

 _My mouth falls open slightly. "Wait, what?" I'm not sure if I've heard him correctly._ Dating? _When had that happened? Sure I'm doing a happy dance in my head at the thought but seriously,_ what _!?_

" _Yeah, I asked you last night and you said yes." EJ says blandly with the twitching beginnings of a smile on his voice._

" _Oh." It's the only thing I can think to say._

" _Are you having second thoughts?" I can't help but notice the slight worry in EJ's voice, almost as if he half expects rejection._

 _I consider reassuring him with words but instead I tackle him with a hug. EJ's knocked back a bit by my weight but he wraps his arms around me anyway. "I'll take that as a no." He says with a laugh._

" _Trust me, the last thing I would do is reconsider." I mutter into his shirt._

" _Well if you're sure…" EJ laughs and reaches behind himself for something. I look up to see him put his mask on. Gently he pushes me off and gets to his feet. "I smell breakfast, you coming with?"_

 _I leap to my feet. "You don't need to ask that twice."_

 _As I follow Jack downstairs I mull this new development over. I'm dating my dream guy: Amazing beyond words. Sally had caught us cuddling? (Still not sure about this one): Not so good. Everyone is going to know we're together by the time we reach the dining room: Well shit._

But to perfectly honest _, I think as I bounce down the stairs two at a time to keep up with EJ,_ I'm not about to complain.

SO yeah! That's how it went down.

You should have heard the snickering when we walking into the dining room. Jeff didn't even bother with being subtle about it, he was just straight out laughing. Until Jane smacked him upside the head, that is.

It's hard to believe something so wonderful went sour. Everything was so perfect and then just like that it all fell apart.

No, I'm not going to tell you why. I'm sorry Miz-

Roberts? Hmm… do you have a husband?

Did he use to work and an institution for crazy people by any chance? I knew it!

Oh nothing much, I just have a friend who met him once. No offence but he's incompetent. Just sayin'…

Ah well, there's the timer. I suppose you have to go.

Thanks again for getting my hat back, I'm rather attached to this thing.

Sarah Roberts… nice name by the way.

Goodbye.

 _ **A/N: For anyone who has read A Killer's Love, yes, that was a reference to that series. A lot of my stories share the Saved by Murder/Killjoy bad end story line.**_

 _ **Yes, I know I'm speaking gibberish; someday it will all become clear.**_


	7. EJ 3

_A/N: Is anyone else feeling slightly bewildered about the fact that Christmas is here again? I mean seriously, this year has just flown by so fast I can't even see straight. What's crazier is that I've been writing for about six months now._

 _Where did all the time go?_

 _Oh well, enjoy!_

 **Jane! What are you doing here?**

 **…** **Well he was my boyfriend and this was his room. Don't I get special privileges or something?**

 **Well I** ** _could_** **play video games or something. You know, if I could see anything.**

 **Eh, he's lying when he says I'm better than you. I seriously suck.**

 **Wait, did you actually… God Jane, I take it back, you** ** _are_** **worse than I am! It takes skill to fail that bad.**

 **Heh, I guess he rubbed off on me. Eventually I just started saying what he would have. It's not like he's here to say it himself.**

 **Why** ** _shouldn't_** **I talk like that? What good is pretending if it's never going to be the same again?**

 **Just because you saved Jeff doesn't mean I can somehow save Ben. I'm pretty sure we've been through this before.**

 **Sorry, sorry, I'm just on edge, kind of all the time.**

 **I wish I could play a game but I'm not sure I can without Ben here.**

 **He always helped me play.**

 **It sounds stupid but it's true and it worked well enough. Eh who am I kidding, the game character died more often than not even when he** ** _was_** **helping me.**

 **I might as well tell you the story.**

 **It happened sometime during the week we started dating...**

 ** _"_** ** _Left! No, your other left!" The disappointed sounds coming from the game inform me that I have, once again, died. Ben groans and I hear him flop back onto his bed, probably from frustration with me. It's a testament to his patience that he hasn't given up on me yet but that event can't be far in coming._**

 ** _After all, how can he possibly teach me, a blind guy, how to play a video game?_**

 ** _"_** ** _Sorry Ben." I mutter lamely._**

 ** _"_** ** _No, no, it's good." Ben's reassurances come out strained and I don't blame him because it_** **isn't** ** _fine. Ben had been almost literally bouncing off the walls in excitement when I had agreed to play video games with him again after the last failed attempt (during which I had single handedly deleted all his progress on every file without meaning to) convinced that this I would do better. All it would take was a little practice and I would be golden._**

 ** _Lies, all of it lies._**

 ** _So far the only thing I haven't done again is delete everything but it's only a matter of time with me._**

 ** _I set the controller down and rake my fingers through my hair in weariness unable to stop myself from feeling absolutely helpless. This is just another instance in a long list of them that proves how much of a burden I am to people. What the fuck had I been thinking when I condemned Ben to dealing with this?_**

 ** _Because, if I'm being completely honest with myself, I know I can't do anything for him. I'm surprised that Ben hasn't realized what a useless thing I am yet._**

 ** _"_** ** _Let's try again." Ben says at last, unfailing optimism flaring up in his voice once more._**

 ** _For a second I consider giving up and telling him I'm done trying. After all, I'm only frustrating Ben and discouraging myself but, after thinking about it for another second, I know full well I can't do that. It would crush him and, by extension, me._**

 ** _"_** ** _Okay." I consent softly._**

 ** _Happy start up noises fill the room as Ben restarts the game. "Now EJ, go right."_**

 ** _I push the 'left' button and hold it down. This is always the easy part._**

 ** _"_** ** _Good, good, now jump!" I reach my finger for the 'jump' button and immediately Ben groans. "That was backwards Jack, you need to go forward and jump."_**

 ** _I try to find the jump button and the sad death music plays again. Finally ready to give up I drop the controller and groan. "I can't play Mario, Ben. I give up. You can't teach me this."_**

 ** _At once I regret my words. I shouldn't be giving up; I should be putting up with the discouragement if only for Ben's sake. "Sorry." I mutter softly into the silence._**

 ** _I wait for Ben to restart the game, tell me to try again or say_** **something** ** _but he's completely silent. I curse myself for being so careless. Sometimes I wish I could just keep my mouth shut._**

 ** _I hear the bed behind me creak as Ben gets to his feet. I wait for him to tell me to get up and leave but he just slowly walks around me and a moment later I feel him pushing the controller back into my hand._**

 ** _I start to protest but Ben cuts me off. "I'll sit right here and help you. I don't need to play as well."_**

 ** _Sometimes I really hate myself. Now is one of those times. I had quickly turned what should have been something enjoyable into a complete disaster._**

 ** _Ben grabs the controller, presses some buttons and hands it back to me. As the game begins again Ben starts his confusing directions. "Go forward and then jump!" I attempt to do as he says for the umpteenth time but right before where I know he'll tell me to jump Ben yelps, "Stop, I have an idea!" I drop the controller in surprise._**

 ** _"_** ** _What is it?" I ask in confusion._**

 ** _In answer Ben gets to his feet. Before I can ask where he's going he answers my question by sitting down in my lap. I make a startled noise and turn bright red._**

 ** _"_** ** _What's the problem?" Ben askes in confusion. "We're dating so what's the problem?"_**

 **The problem is that you being this close will not help my state of mind** ** _I think as I try to focus on what Ben's doing. He picks up the controller and puts it back into my hands then he slips his own underneath mine._**

 ** _"_** ** _If you move your hands with mine, you should be able to memorize the patterns." Ben explains as if this set up is a perfectly logical solution and not a disaster waiting to happen. I try to think of a way to tell him that will be nigh impossible for me to keep my mind on the game in this position but he starts the game before I have a chance._**

 ** _Immediately I'm focused on how fast Ben's fingers move beneath mine. They fly across the controller as he narrates what he's doing. Quickly I learn what little nob does what and what button to push when._**

 ** _After what feels like a few seconds but is probably more like a few hours, Ben sets the controller down and leans back against my chest with a content sigh. "Well, it looks like you finally learned how to play a video game."_**

 ** _I wrap my arms around Ben and mutter, "Yeah, I guess I did."_**

 **So, there you have it! Learning to play video games with Ben was certainly an experience.**

 **And I'd be lying if I said we always** ** _just_** **played video games.**

 **Again with the pillow throwing! Is that really necessary? It's not like you and Jeff don't-**

 **OW! Sorry, I'll shut up.  
Ah well, it's amazing how much better I feel after talking to you. Maybe I'll eventually tell you about the night he left.**

 **Or not, it's still pretty painful to think about.**

 **I wish I could go back and do something different. I really screwed up Jane.**

 **Fine, I won't blame myself… For now.**

 **If you throw one more pillow at me Jane I'm going to fight back.**

 **Dinner? *sighs* fine, I'm coming.**

 **I tell you more latter.**

 _A/N: Now you see, this is where the plot actually starts getting slightly better. Ben always makes the plot move and EJ always brings it together._

 _And I always write these stupid authors notes that no one reads! How wonderful this world is._

 _Ah well, I'll probably post more tomorrow._

 _Seeya!_


	8. Ben 4

**_A/N: Okay, admittedly it's not exactly tomorrow but it's close enough right? Right? Ah well, this is a good chapter (I think) and it's worth the wait (I hope)_**

 ** _Oh well, enjoy anyway._**

Hey Sarah, it's so good to see you.

Not.

It's not you, really, it's just the rest of everyone is awful. It's like they won't give up. For some reason they think that if they run enough tests and inject me with enough chemicals, I'll suddenly make sense.

Personally, I think I make perfect sense; they're just not imaginative enough.

I honestly wish I could escape at this point.

Oh, it wouldn't take much, just your phone. NO, I'm not going to call someone. Even if EJ had a phone he wouldn't pick up. But he doesn't have a phone and at this point it's been like, over a month. He's not coming.

I'm not depressed, I'm realistic.

It doesn't matter okay! That's why you're here right? To help me get over him.

You're only here to help get information out of me? That's just great, I feel _so_ relieved.

Oh well, I might as well use you as convenient relationship counseling anyway.

I will not tell you about why I'm here, I've already told you, I- I just… Can't.

I guess I can tell you about a night that happened shortly before it… Ended. It's pretty boring but then it's amazing.

To be honest, most of it had to do with rain. I don't much like water, and EJ doesn't like the confusion but that didn't stop it from being an awesome night…

 _Okay, I gonna be perfectly honest, I didn't think it would end up like this. For some reason I had pictured EJ and my killing spree ending quite differently._

 _You know a lot more people dead and a lot less rain._

 _Oh yeah, and without getting lost._

 _"_ _It'll be fun they said, people dead they said!" I exclaim in a sarcastic voice. It's all I can do not to break down in hopelessness. My stomach is clenching and unclenching painfully as the stress of the water pouring down on me added to the awful feeling that only comes from being lost closes around me._

 _"_ _Are you sure we're going the right way?" EJ asks for like the umpteenth time in a row._

 _I push my soggy yellow locks from my eyes and mutter, "No, not really." Despite the large amounts of misery I'm wasting on myself, I can't help but feel awful for my boyfriend. Sure I hate the rain because I don't particularly like getting wet but it's utter hell for EJ._

 _Normally, his sightlessness is only a minor technicality when trying to get from point A to point B. His other four senses more than make up for it, but in the rain, it all goes out the window. His hearing is useless because of the monotony of rainfall and his sense of smell (which is more useful than you might imagine) is dampened as well. He's left with touch and taste, which pretty much leaves him in the same position as any other blind person. It's far from pretty._

 _Watching him is absolute torture for me. I want to help him so badly but I know he's going to deny any help. I've already offered and he told me he was_ fine _. Somehow I doubt it._

Now that I look back at it, I'm pretty sure that EJ was worried about burdening me. He was always so adamant about keeping up with me I'm surprised I haven't noticed it before.

Why would he worry about being good enough? Of _course_ he's good enough.

If anything he was too good for _me_. But back to the story.

 _Somehow we've managed to find ourselves in the middle of a cornfield, with no forest in sight and I'm pretty sure it's all my fault. After all, it had been my idea to cut across the long golden stalks to reach civilization. I should have known the moment I felt that first raindrop that the night wouldn't end well._

 _EJ shakes his head like a dog and removes his mask, trying to gauge where he is. In the end, all he does is get water in his empty eye sockets which he blinks rapidly to squeeze the unwelcome damp out._

 _"_ _You know," I say despondently. "When I came out to go on a murder spree with you, I had expected it to be a lot dryer."_

 _EJ would have rolled his eyes if he had them. "For some reason I expected the house to send us somewhere other than Iowa."_

 _I give him a weird look but say nothing._ Iowa? _I think in confusion. I jump up to attempt to see over the stalks of corn but I'm too short. Completely lost and too small to get out, the rain seems to mock me. It soaks me to the skin and is almost too much to bear._

 _All in all, I'm feeling really_ really _miserable. It could be worse, but for the life of me I can't think of how._

 _"_ _Is it just me, or are we walking in circles?" EJ's voice sounds worried and tired which is pretty much how I feel._

 _"_ _We might be." I admit. Without really thinking about it I collapse to the ground and put my arms around my knees. This is really not going well._

 _"_ _Ben, where are you? Are you okay?" I look up to see EJ tossing his head around trying to hear me amid the downpour._

 _The sight of him acting so helplessly brings tears to my eyes but I push that choking feeling back down with strong resolution. This is not the time._

 _But there are times when I just can't help it. The sobs rip through me and leave my throat feeling raw. I bury my face in my hands to hide my helplessness from EJ but the action is useless._

 _A long warm arm wraps around my shoulders and pulls me close. As EJ holds me I clutch at his soaked hoodie and only cry harder. With his long fingers EJ massages broad calming circles into my shoulder blades, slowly soothing my fears._

 _"_ _What's wrong?" EJ asks softly as he brings his hand up to gently brush the damp strands of my hair from my face._

 _I almost laugh,_ what's wrong? _So much is wrong with this situation but for the life of me I can't seem to get the words out._

 _"_ _We're going to make it out of here, you know that right?" I look up into EJ's worried face and can't help but believe him. Even though he doesn't have eyes I can still read the emotion he's feeling. He's never learned to hide it._

 _"_ _Yeah, I know." As EJ holds me an inch from himself my eyes roam over his face as they've done so many times. The small scar on his cheek from when Jeff's knife grazed him, the small dimples his sharp teeth leave on his bottom lip even the fact that his hair always wants to fall to the right, I know it all and I love it._

 _For a moment, just a fraction of a second, EJ hesitates, almost as if he wants to say something but he give up last second and just draws me closer. "You know I love you, right?"_

 _"_ _I love you too." I murmur softly._

 _Gently, almost as if he's afraid to break me, EJ tilts my head back. He holds my face like that for a moment and my breath fails me then ever so slowly, he leans in and kisses me._

 _Every time he does it he acts like it's the first time. So light and almost feathery at first before growing hungry with lust and every time he claims me, I don't stop him._

 _I want to be his._

 _In that moment, I am his._

Yeah, we eventually got out of the cornfield and by that time I wasn't that cold any more.

I'm not going to tell you what happened! It's not for your little ears to here.

Okay well just because you're married doesn't mean you've lost your innocence.

It's figurative, not literal!

And right on time, there's the timer.

Oh yeah! The phone! Yeah, I'll tell you about that later if you promise to keep it a secret.

God, I'm starting to sound like Sally…

Oh well, see you next week Sarah!

… I hate it here….

 ** _A/N: And the first kiss I write about is in a cornfield. How fudging romantic of me… Sometimes I wish I was a better writer. Then my sister hits me over the head and I forget what I was doing._**

 ** _But on the bright side shit gets done._**

 ** _Oh well, I'll write more tomorrow… maybe…_**

 ** _Or maybe something new…_**


	9. EJ 4

_A/N: Here's me making good on that promise I made myself a long time ago. Not many people are reading this story but I'm still posting more anyway._

 _Enjoy…_

 **Oh Jane!**

 **I was just listening to the rain. It reminds me of Ben for some reason. Naw, I'm not sure why.**

 **I take that back. I know** _ **exactly**_ **why. It would be hard for me to forget that night.**

 **I've been wondering, does Ben ever think of me like I do him? It's a stupid thought, of course he doesn't. Why would he after what I did…**

 **Why would he want to forgive me? I was awful to him, he tried to explain and I threw it back in his face.**

 **I threw him out. It's my fault he's gone.**

 **I almost wish he had just broken up with me because of how cruel I was and gone back inside. At least then he would still be here.**

 **At least I would know he's alive.**

 **I could survive the torture of loving him and knowing he hates me. I've survived similar before. I just can't stand thinking he's out there, possibly hurt probably dead, and he can't come back.**

 **Don't tell me not to think like this. It's in my nature.**

 **I just wish I could turn back the clock to when we were happy. I would give anything to be back in that barn that smelled like horse shit if it meant having Ben next to me.**

 **I haven't told you that story have I? It's a good one I guess…**

 **It starts when the rain stopped.**

 _ **The corn stalks behind me bend as I lean against them with Ben still held tight in my arms. His tears of fear have at last stopped and he seems to be feeling better.**_

 _ **I know I am.**_

 _ **As if the universe senses our happiness the rain suddenly halts. Ben comes off of me sharply with a laugh of delight. "I knew it would stop eventually!" He exclaims.**_

 _ **I can't help but smile at his obvious delight. The world around me comes back into the sharp focus of sound I'm used to. I feel as if a suffocating blanket has been lifted off my head. I turn my head to bring the sounds together into a picture of my surroundings. A soft lowing tells me that at the very least, a barn is nearby if not more people.**_

" _ **My turn to lead." I announce as I get off the ground and start forward with absolute certainty. I hear Ben's squelching footsteps as he hurries to catch up. As he draws level with me I reach out and find his hand, drawing him closer to me as we walk out of the corn.**_

 _ **The silence that surrounds us is comfortable and easy, the kind that can be broken by a word and fixed with the sentences end. As we walk forward, occasionally picking our way around a clump of corn, I feel the stalks begin to thin and the air grow less dank and more free. The wet smell of a large body of water warns me to proceed with care.**_

" _ **Wait!" I stop at once at Ben's voice. "There's a**_ **huge** _**pond in front of us."**_

 _ **Of course I knew that but I let Ben drag me over to the side anyway. Soon I realize his intent as my foot meets a wooden board. Someone had created a convenient bridge to span the water. I reach for rails but my hands only find air.**_

" _ **There isn't a railing." Ben mutters as he releases my hands and starts off across the bridge. A rather redundant statement in my mind but I smile anyway. Ben has that effect on me.**_

 _ **Taking careful steps to cross the rickety stretch of planks that somehow constitutes as a bridge I listen closely and find that Ben has stopped moving mid bridge.**_

" _ **The water, it's like glass." Ben breaths in awe. "I can see myself in it."**_

" _ **You wouldn't want to fall in." I mutter.**_

 _ **I can feel Ben's shudder travel across the span of weathered wood. "Nope, I hate being in water, can't swim."**_

 _ **My smile is rueful as I say, "I used to be able to swim, you know before-" I gesture at my eyes and shrug. "It doesn't matter." I sniff the air and the heavy smell of more rain on the horizon hits me. "We should probably get to shelter." I say softly. With lengthening strides I continue across the bridge.**_

 _ **Without meaning too I bump into Ben as I pass him. With how far over the water he's bent, the small nudge sets him off balance.**_

" _ **Jack!" Ben yells in fear as he flails his arms sending the bridge into spastic tremors. I lunge for Ben to catch him but, even though I'm fast, I'm not fast enough. Ben pitches forward and tumbles into the still water below with a resounding crash.**_

" _ **Ben!" I surge forward to where he fell. Beneath me Ben flounders in panic, trying and failing to swim.**_

" _ **Help, Jack!" His cries become interspersed with gurgles as he submerges and resurfaces. Desperately I attempt to think of a way to save Ben from a watery grave but come up empty.**_

 _ **Then, a sound worse than splashing greats my ear: Silence but for the sound of bubbles coming to the surface. Perhaps I take leave of my senses because in that moment only one option presents itself.**_

 _ **I leap in after him.**_

 **Yeah, I know Jane, I'm an idiot. You don't have to tell me that.**

 **Would you just listen to the story? It gets better.**

 _ **As the icy fingers of the water grip at me I struggle to orient myself before waving my arms, trying to find Ben. All I find is more cold and more nothing. My heart surges to my throat as I realize he's probably beneath me.**_

 _ **Drawing a deep breath, I swim down, praying to come across Ben. I search until my breath runs out then I struggle to the surface, gasping to fill my burning lungs with oxygen before diving back down again.**_

 _ **I reach the bottom and scrape the muddy depths desperation in every movement. Just when the lack of air starts to send lancing pain through my chest my fingers find the edge of Ben's tunic. Hope wells up within me as, with fumbling movements, I drag Ben's limp form to me and strike out for the surface.**_

 _ **As the water breaks around me I struggle to keep my head and Ben's head above the frigid pond. I don't know where the bank is but I know I have to start swimming or face drowning. With powerful strokes I endeavor to keep going in a straight line towards an eventual shore.**_

 _ **Finally, just as my strength is ready to give out my hand scoops through silty mud and my feet scrape the bottom. Hardly able to keep ahold of the limp Ben I crawl to shore and lay him out before me. Terror courses through me as I realize, his heart's not beating.**_

" _ **Oh god, please don't do this to me Ben." Hands shaking I attempt to preform CPR, forcing breath into his lungs. As pure hopelessness at last crashes over me, Ben convulses and gives a hacking cough, expelling a spout of water from his lungs. Between gasping breaths he hacks the remainder of water from his lungs.**_

 _ **Relief pours through be hot and fast as I hold back a sob. For a fraction of a second I had been so sure… "**_ **God Ben," I whisper hoarsely, "Don't do that to me."**

 _ **As the first drop of the fresh surge of rain hits my unmasked face I decide that -if my nose is to be trusted- the barn nearby is a much better place for him to recuperate than out in the rain. A shiver wracks Ben's form as I lift him off the ground but he doesn't protest. Probably too weak from the near-drowning-experience to fight back, he curls against me and whimpers softly before letting out another strained cough.**_

 _ **With faltering footfalls, I walk towards the smell of horse and cow shit without complaint. Generally I avoid anything that overwhelms my sense of smell but it goes without saying that I would do anything for Ben. As the smells grow stronger, I slow down, not wanting to run into a wall. Thankfully, luck is on my side. I walk into the door and gently shoulder it open.**_

 _ **Soft lowing and gentle whickering greets my intrusion into the barn. Not wanting to trip on something while holding Ben I shuffle forward, shoulder to the wall, hoping I can find somewhere to let him rest. My shoulder hits something that I quickly discover is a ladder. From above me the musty smell of straw and hay almost overpowers the smells of shit.**_

" _ **Ben," I murmur to the limp boy in my arms. "I need you to hold on to my neck so I don't drop you." Sluggish hands reach up and weakly cling to me as I shift Ben to a one arm hold and use the other to ascend the ladder.**_

 _ **After a long arduous climb that sends my heart into my throat more times than I care to mention, I finally reach the loft, stumble forward and gratefully relinquish Ben into the hay. As Ben relaxes his hold on my neck I find his cold lips and kiss him. In this state he provides about as much resistance as butter. He practically melts beneath me as I nibble on his lower lip and trail kisses down his neck.**_

" _ **I thought you were going to drown back there." I murmur between small nips and kisses.**_

 _ **He doesn't answer; instead he mewls softly as I find a sweet spot behind his ear and bite it gently. Small hands reach up and tangle themselves in my hair, drawing me closer as small breathy noises weave into the soft barn noises surrounding us. Working my hands under Ben's shirt I run long fingers over his spine enticing more moans from him.**_

 _ **With the cows and horses to cover our sounds, I remove Ben's shirt and-**_

 **Yeah, you know, that's enough of that. We're done talking about this.**

 **What do you want me to say? We had sex in the hay loft. Whatcha gonna do about it.**

 **Jane, Jane please, don't hit me Jane, I'm getting really tired of it.**

 **And yeah, the sex was amazing. Ben is… really something else.**

 **OW! Really Jane, really, with the butt of your knife? A bit harder and you'd have knocked me out. I'm dizzy now as it is.**

 **Listen, I never should have brought it up. Ben's gone and me** _ **moaning**_ **and** _ **groaning**_ **about it won't change anything! He's not coming back.**

 **Yeah Jane, I'm** _ **crying.**_ **Is that so wrong?**

 **I've lost the person I love, what do you expect me to do?**

 **Shit Jane, I'm not telling you what I did. Not at I time like this.**

 **I'm going to bed, goodnight.**

 **I hope you like the rain.**

 ***Door slams***

 _A/N: Is anyone even the least bit excited about what happens next? No?_

 _Me neither. But in other news, I'm struggling with smut, grappling with the Geek sisters, tussling with TiccTock and as for Killjoy, well; don't even get me_ started _on that can of worms. To say it's gotten frustrating would be an understatement._

 _Until I can finally get past my issues with Ben and his evil twin, (Obvious foreshadowing is obvious), goodbye._


	10. Ben 5

_**A/N: So I've been thinking. As a so-so author I always love to read fanfictions written by the great fanfiction writers and a smattering of authors that might not get an A for skill but are enjoyable nonetheless. But that got me thinking, what to the GREAT writers read? At some point are they bound to reading**_ **real** _**books because everything else is beneath them?**_

 _ **Just some food for thought, anyways, ENJOY!**_

Hey Sarah!

Me? I'm good. Ya know, as well as I can be.

I'm trying to remember… I was going to tell you something today but I can't quite recall...

THE PHONE! Yeah that's what it was. Time for me to tell you my biggest secret I guess.

If you can bring me anything that can connect to internet or a signal I can –how do I put this- sort of travel through it? That sounds weird… It's more like, I'm still made of code so I can just _send_ myself through…

You know what I give up. I don't know how it works either. It just does.

Yeah, escape is that easy. All it takes is a phone or computer and boom, I'm gone.

Not that I'm actually going to ever get out. I don't expect you to endanger your career for me and even if I did get out, I wouldn't have anywhere to go.

I _do_ keep saying that. Why, because I royally screwed up my life before leaving. It was all my fault I ended up like this.

Don't tell me not to fucking blame myself. I'm not going to stop just because _you_ said to.

Oh? Then what do you expect me to do?

I've already told you I'm not comfortable telling this story. I don't want you to see-

I'm not sure what I don't want you to see actually. I just know that telling you this story won't turn out well.

I do know it though. How can I _not_ know it? I was the one who chose my own fucking _evil TWIN_ over my boyfriend.

I… Yeah I guess I did just tell you the worst of it… Fine you know what, I'll tell you because I don't care if I sign my death warrant right about now. I'm just so tired of holding my shame in.

It started pretty normally, actually; my _twin thing_ and I were just playing video games in my room…

" _Gees Ben, when did you get so bad at playing Minecraft? You used to be a fucking beast at parkour. If I didn't know better I'd think you were blind or something." As he turns back to the screen, Dark Link laughs like what he just said was an amazing joke or something but I fail to see the humor in it. I've been playing video games with EJ for so long that I no longer think of the game as something I have to win to enjoy. After learning it was possible to just_ play _a game and not win, my evil(er) twin thing (for want of a better term) shows up and I'm expected to keep him entertained!_

 _He's super competitive and can get a little creepy. Like, 'this is my personal bubble, not yours' kind of creepy. Needless to say, I hate him._

 _A lot._

" _Unlike you, I have a life." I grumble out._

 _As my avatar falls off the floating platform for what has to be the thousandth time, Darky (my mental nickname for him) turns around and covers his mirth with a weak attempt at a pouty face. "Aww come on Ben, that's not nice." His feigned hurt quickly turns to an evil smirk. "What have I ever done to hurt you?"_

" _Everything." I mutter with a snort. In truth he just sets me on edge but it's easier to always be annoyed with him than actually deal with the real problem._

 _While in the game he teleports my fallen avatar to his own blocky figure, Link laughs. "Is that some sort of subtle way of telling me to fuck off?"_

" _I wasn't trying to be subtle."_

 _Darky mimes rubbing a burn with a pained expression before letting his normal smirk return to his face. "See, if you could just channel that annoyance and play one fucking map without making a total fool of yourself, I might leave you alone."_

 _Now that's something I can totally live with. "Fine, but I want you out of my room afterward."_

" _Show me a good game and we'll talk." Figuring this was probably the best deal I was going to get out of him, I settle into a more comfortable position against my bed and prepare to play._

 _Focused on my game, I hardly notice the sarcastic comments my twin thing makes. He becomes mere background noise as I quickly advance though the different stages of the map. Blocks become colorful blurs in my mind as my fingers fly over the controller._

 _During that time part of me manages to drift away to thoughts of EJ. I had left him downstairs with everyone, knowing full well that my idiotic doppelganger would only get on his nerves. Besides, he had been really out of it lately and I'd been having trouble getting the problem out of him._

 _Perhaps not having me figuratively breathing down his neck would help clear his head._

 _As the end of the map draws near I focus intensely on my last few jumps and immediately turn off the game after Darky finishes. "There." I announce. "I played a game and didn't screw it up. Happy now?"_

 _Casually tossing his controller to the side Dark Link gets to his feet and languidly stretches before answering. "Much happier." Strolling over to where I sit sprawled against the side of my bed, he muses, "You know, you have seemed more distracted than usual. What's up with you?"_

 _Feeling that edginess that Link brings to me once more I shift uncomfortably and mutter, "You said you'd get out once we finished that game. We're done so get out."_

 _Laughing softly Darky stares over me, violet eyes full of malignant laughter. "I said we'd talk so here we are, talking." Leaning over until we were no more than half a foot apart he asks, "What's wrong with you?"_

" _Now look who's been subtle." I grumble, fighting the urge to try and brush the hot itchy sensation his gaze sends over my skin._

 _Stooping down and catching my collar in one of his hands Link says, "Subtlety has never been one of my strong suits." Without so much as a warning he crashes his mouth against mine._

 _Shocked I jerk back and stare at him in utter horror and revulsion. "Fucking hell? What the fuck do you think you're-" Link cuts my words off as he drags me forward, roughly pushing his tongue in my mouth and running his hands up my tunic._

 _Even as my mind rebels against what is happening to me –my evil twin is mouth raping me- my body responds to his movements. I find myself moaning as he continues to drive me crazy. Something in me yells that what's happening is wrong, I'm dating EJ for goodness sakes, but something even more powerful overwhelms my mind with lust._

 _What could go wrong? EJ's downstairs anyway._

 _No sooner has that thought formed than the door to my room bangs open. "Ben? What the fuck?"_

 _Dark Link slowly backs off of me to reveal EJ standing in my door. His mask dangles in one limp hand and his face displays a heartbreaking stew of anger, betrayal, pain, sadness and horror. Shame covers me from head to toe as Darky gets to his feet and says with a smirk, "Oops, looks like we got caught Ben. Later."_

 _With those words, he pushes roughly past EJ and is gone._

" _Jack, I-" I struggle to formulate any sort of appropriate response but nothing comes out. Scrabbling to find the words I continue to stammer yet somehow I know that whatever I say isn't going to make a damn bit of difference now._

" _Just shut the hell up!" He yells, agony coursing through his words. Throwing his black streaked mask across the room at me, he storms away._

 _Numbly picking up the blue mask, I trace my fingers across the surface and watch as some of the black washes away as my tears fall onto it._

" _Shit." I whisper._

I'm crying again aren't I. Fuck, I hate myself. I hate everything.

Now can you see what I did? Now can you see why it's all my fault? I fucked everything up all because I was too weak to push my twin away. My fucking TWIN! Why did I even like it at all? The more I think about it the worse I feel.

Shit, I can't stop crying now. Do you hate me yet Sarah?

Can you see why EJ hates me?

Yeah, he was sad, that his FUCKING BOYFRIEND DITCHED HIM!

I HATE MYSELF!

I screwed everything up. I ruined his life and I threw away mine. There's absolutely no way in hell he doesn't hate me for that.

Because I hate myself for it…

Shut up, negativity is my life, don't even try to convince me there's a good side.

Especially after the fight we had.

I'll tell you about it next week. I don't care that our session isn't over, I'm telling you right now it's over. Leave me alone to cry in peace.

Goodbye Sarah.

 _ **A/N: Why do I feel oddly proud of myself? Is it just that any time my main characters are reduced to tears I feel like I've done something right? Quite possibly. That would make the most (and least) sense.**_

 _ **Please don't kill me; there are three more chapters of drama. I'm really, REALLY mean to my characters.**_

 _ **Also, I get this is a weird chapter. I never said I was normal, did I?**_


	11. EJ 5

_A/N: One of my dear friends recently read this story. While she read the fifth chapter, her eyes lit up as she exclaimed, "Oh my gosh it's so sweet! I love happy stories."_

 _With an evil cackle I asked, "Whose story do you think you're reading?"_

 _We all know what happens to_ my _characters._

 _Enjoy._

 **Hey Jane, you seem a little… Tipsy.**

 **No, no, it's okay it's just, why?**

 **Typical Jeff, only he would think getting wasted is fun.**

 **Okay, maybe not the only one. You seem to be enjoying yourself as well…**

 **Naw, I think I'll pass.**

 **Why do you ask 'is it because of Ben?' like it's a bad thing? Maybe I** _ **want**_ **my memories of him to control my life!**

 **And actually, I already didn't drink alcohol. Maybe something to do with Ben solidified that choice but it doesn't matter.**

 **Yeah, maybe there is a story behind it and maybe I don't want to tell you. Maybe it's still too painful.**

 **Besides, you're drunk.**

 **Don't whimper at me, it doesn't work.**

 **I'm serious Jane, I'm not telling you. If fact, why don't you go ask your boyfriend, I'm sure** _ **he**_ **remembers.**

 **Yeah, it had something to do with Jeff. I don't blame him for it, you know how he gets when he's drunk. I doubt he meant all those things he said, he just pushed the right buttons is all.**

 **And yeah, it hurt but that's not why I don't want to talk about it.**

 **It was the night Ben… Vanished.**

 **Yeah, I know I've told you a lot but this is different.**

 **What makes you think talking about it is going to make it better? I'm still going to be dealing with the consequences of my actions regardless.**

 **Inner peace, eh? God Jane, you sound like a hippy.**

 **Fine, you know what; I'll tell you what happened. It's not gonna change anything.**

 _ **Thoughts of murder run through my head as I sit by the fire, listening to the drunken drabble of the other Pastas. I don't want to be here. I want to be upstairs with Ben. Unfortunately, Dark Link decided to drop in and Ben had told me to stay downstairs for the evening.**_

 _ **I'm doing as requested, no matter how much I hate it. If Ben doesn't want me upstairs he has a good reason. He always does.**_

 _ **Slowly, I turn a page of the book I hold in my hand. Some people have asked me why I bother if I can't see the pages. I'm not quite sure how to explain the comfort it brings just holding the thing and going through the motions.**_

 _ **It also keeps people from bothering me. Maybe there are better ways of accomplishing that task but I haven't found them yet.**_

 _ **Loud laughter coming from my intoxicated friends grates on my sensitive ears and I feel a headache start to build at my temples. With every fresh wave of noise the desire to go upstairs to my room grows stronger. I'm a solitary creature at heart and right now, staying in a room full of idiots is pushing my limits.**_

" _ **Jack!" My careful silence is broken as a sharp cone shaped nose is pushed into my masked face.**_

" _ **LJ…" I mutter, attempting to scoot out from under the clown's face. He's never really had any idea what personal space is and it can be disconcerting to say the least. "Hey, can you move?"**_

" _ **Come on, that's not nice." He pouts, even as he straightens up and walks around my chair and collapses onto the sofa next to it. I can smell the pungent odor of alcohol coming from him in drifts. Wrinkling my nose I attempt to go back to my silent contemplations, but to no avail.**_

" _ **Why are you over here?" Ticci Toby pokes the side of my mask before he too collapses onto the couch.**_

 _ **Jeff walks to where I sit and leans against my chair, beer in hand, and asks, "Aren't you going to drink anything Jack?"**_

" _ **No." I mutter, feeling almost claustrophobic. "I don't drink."**_

" _ **Then what the hell are you doing here?" Masky asks from his post by the mantelpiece.**_

 _ **Shifting uncomfortably I shrug. "I don't know, sitting?"**_

" _ **If you aren't gonna drink then go be boring somewhere else, we don't want it to spread." Toby says, clearly trying to adopt a serious manner.**_

 _ **Jeff laughs loudly before suggesting, "Why don't you go upstairs and fuck your boyfriend or something." I have to remind myself that Jeff's drunk to keep my temper in check; otherwise I'm probably going to break something.**_

" _ **Dark Link is up there." LJ reminds Jeff with a snort. "Unless they're planning some sort of three way-"**_

 _ **I interrupt the clown crossly before he can finish his remark. "Can I not just sit here in peace?"**_

" _ **Touchy, touchy." Jeff sneers, "If I didn't know better I'd think that Ben and you were fighting or something."**_

 _ **I swallow back my angry retorts. This is so typical of Jeff, getting under my skin. He knows all my buttons and when he's drunk and not thinking clearly, he loves nothing more than to press them all.**_ **Let him,** _**I think sourly.**_ **I'll survive.**

" _ **How did you two end up together anyway?" I turn to Hoodie who, judging from the sound of it, is standing next to Masky. Normally, the question wouldn't have bothered me but right now, the subject looks more like a minefield then anything.**_

" _ **Yeah," Jeff's hair brushes against the side of my head as he nods. "How did you manage to hook up with Ben?"**_

 _ **Cursing Hoodie's question internally I mutter, "I don't know."**_

" _ **Eh, you two make a good couple," LJ comments.**_

" _ **Yeah but I'm wondering how." Under Jeff's scrutiny I can feel myself growing angrier and more nervous by the second. "I mean, what exactly does Ben see in you anyway?"**_

 _ **The nerves inside me solidify into a wedge of ice.**_ **Trust Jeff to find my insecurity and bring it up.**

" _ **While we're on the subject, what does Jane see in**_ **you** _ **Jeff?" Toby asks with a snort.**_

 _ **I can hear Jeff's grin. "Maybe she likes my sparkling personality."**_

" _ **Maybe she likes your big- Ow!" Masky's words are cut short as Hoodie elbows him in the ribs.**_

" _ **Okay sure but what does Ben see in you EJ?" The alcohol on Jeff's breath becomes more prominent as he leans in closer. "I mean, aren't you just a drag on him?"**_

" _ **If I was," I mutter shortly, trying not to show how deeply Jeff's words were cutting into me. "He wouldn't be dating me."**_

" _ **But is it even a real relationship?" Jeff asks as he straightens up. "When all you do is fuck each other there's a possibility that Ben's just using you."**_

" _ **Come on Jeffy," LJ mutters weakly, "Lay off of him."**_

" _ **I'm just pointing out the obvious." Jeff spreads his arms wide as he turns to the other males in the room. "EJ is blind. Why would Ben want damaged merchandise? We're killers; don't we always have ulterior motives?"**_

" _ **True enough." Masky says shortly as he pulls a protesting Hoodie against himself. "I know I do."**_

" _ **Hey!" Hoodie retorts.**_

" _ **You just have to be careful EJ," Jeff advises. "I know that you love him but does he**_ **really** _ **love you?"**_

" _ **Will you stop?" I grind out through my clenching gut and bubbling anger.**_

" _ **I'm looking out for you best interests Jack." Jeff says with a shrug. "After all, you're my friend."**_

" _ **You could try another tactic." I mutter, stormy. Shoving to my feet, I knock Jeff out of the way and leave the room.**_

 _ **My mind is filled with swirling emotions as I walk up the stairs towards my room. Jeff's wrong, Ben does care. He has to care, right? Taking off my mask I run my hand over my empty eye sockets. Surely my being blind doesn't change much.**_

 _ **I start to turn on my landing then backtrack. After what happened downstairs I**_ **need** _ **to see Ben, Dark Link be damned. They'll only be playing video games after all. It's not like I'll be interrupting anything that important.**_

 _ **As I step out onto Ben's landing my footsteps slow as does my heart rate. This is all just a classic case of Jeff needling all the wrong places. Getting worked up over it is stupid, absolutely stupid. Jeff doesn't know shit about how Ben feels. My hand lightly settles on the doorknob to Ben's room as a smile finally finds its way onto my face. Thinking about Ben does that to me.**_

 _ **I'm about to turn the handle when a strange sound stops me. A blaze of shock courses through me as I realize what I'm hearing. It's a sound I've heard many times before.**_

 _ **It's the soft, breathless sound of Ben moaning.**_

 _ **My heart stops as I throw the door open. Everything falls silent as I yell in outrage, "Ben? What the fuck?" Dark Link, by the sounds of it, backs off of Ben slowly. I can't do anything but stare at the boy I had**_ **thought** _ **loved me as the heartbreaking betrayal sets in. My mask dangles limply in one hand as I just stand there in the doorway, trying to**_ **think.**

" _ **Oops," The smirk on Dark Link's tone is obvious as he gets to his feet. "Looks like we got caught Ben. Later." He shoves past me roughly but I don't move. I can't move.**_

" _ **Jack, I-" Ben begins, clearly struggling to find words.**_ **Why Ben** _ **? I wonder brokenly.**_ **Why was I not good enough?** _**His stammers make it clear he's trying to think of an excuse and in that moment, I can't handle it. Even if he did manage to find the right words this wasn't something I could just**_ **forget.**

" _ **Just shut the hell up!" I yell, letting my pain and rage flow into my words. Without any real thought of mine, my hand clenches around the edge of my mask and I throw it at Ben before storming away. My pace quickens as I fly down the stairs. I can't think, I can't**_ **breathe** _**I can only hurt and wonder what I did wrong.**_

 **Jeff was right** _ **, I realize.**_ **Ben doesn't care.**

 **No, I'm not crying. I'll be fine.**

 **You weren't there that night, something about a girl's night out?**

 **Jane, Jane what are you doing? No calm down, it wasn't Jeff's fault. Jane, I think you're a little drunk right now why don't you just-**

 **Jane please don't attack Jeff. I really don't want to have to deal with-**

 **Okay, never mind…**

 **It wasn't my fault Jeff. In fact, I was just leaving!**

 **Have fun I guess.**

 **Goodnight.**

 _A/N: Well now wasn't that something? I'm- I'm not really sure about this but OH WELL! It's too late now!_

 _I say too late, it's 11:51 and I can't keep my eyes open but I promised Yami Papercut I would post a new chapter this week and I like to keep my promises._

 _So yes, I_ do _have an excuse this time._


	12. Ben 6

_**A/N: Now that I'm looking at the end of this story I'm getting a little sentimental. I adore this story and it's almost over. Well, not almost over, there are still four chapters left but that's not a lot.**_

 _ **Oh well, enjoy this depressing chapter.**_

 _As I stare at EJ's mask, my fingers tighten and I surge to my feet. I'm not going to let it end like this; I_ can't _let it end like this._ He'll forgive me _, I think desperately as I hurry to the open door._ If I can just explain… _While my feet carry me down the hallway I attempt to wipe the tears from my eyes. My chest feels like it's been crushed and my throat is sending bolts of agony through me. Everything hurts and yet, there's still this spark of hope. Yes I fucked up big time but maybe I can fix it._

 _My feet thunder down the stairs as I careen towards the ground floor._ Where did he go? _I wonder as I reach the bottom. I bolt into the living room at a million miles minute, eyes already franticly scanning my surroundings for EJ. Instead, I'm immediately accosted by Jeff._

" _Looks like_ someone _screwed up!" Jeff announces in an excited rasp as he throws an arm around my shoulders. "How did you manage this one?"_

" _Shut the hell up!" I growl, shrugging Jeff off. "Where's EJ?"_

" _Dunno," Jeff responds lazily as he guzzles some of the beer he holds in one hand. "He left here a while ago, seemed pretty pissed at me."_

" _What did you say to him?" I spit, anger and fear fighting for control of me._

" _Apparently," Jeff drawls, "Nothing that wasn't true."_

 _Anger wins. With a loud_ pop! _all the lightbulbs in the room blow as an electricity surge overwhelms them. Physically reaching out my hand, I grab the electric currents around me, gather them in my palm then throw the bolt of white hot energy at Jeff. The force lifts him and tosses him into the wall with a resounding_ crack!

 _I don't stay to see if there was any lasting damage because I'm already dashing out of the room and heading towards the front door. Reckless in my movements, I fling it open and stumble out onto the porch only to freeze at the sight of EJ sitting on the top step, sightlessly staring out into the night. As if it couldn't stand me being there any longer the mansion ripped the doorknob from my hand and slammed the front door behind me._

 _Hardly daring to breath I fight back the tears that spring to my eyes as I whisper, "EJ?" He doesn't move, doesn't respond. My heart surges and breaks. Tears choking me, I attempt to hold myself together. "EJ, please…" I whimper as I walk towards him. Still he says nothing._

" _EJ, I'm begging you." My voice is a blur of tears as I walk around him and look into his face. Tears run down it in a steady stream and his lips are parted in a silent plea. "I'm sorry." Slowly I reach out my hand and touch his cheek._

 _Faster than my eyes can register the movement, EJ's hand shoots out and slaps my hand away violently. "Get your filthy hands off me!" He shouts, fury pulsing behind his words. As he gets to his feet I stumble backward, terror sending the heartbreak inside me skittering._

" _EJ, I-" I start, trying to formulate the feelings coursing through me into a coherent sentence._

" _Shut up!" His empty sockets somehow light with anger and betrayal. "How could you do this Ben,_ how?" _His voice cracks on the last word and suddenly I'm seeing my pain and heartbreak reflected back at me through his tone._

 _For a moment I can't speak through the pain, its vastness chokes me, then I steel my nerves and manage a weak, "EJ, I didn't mean-"_

" _Will you_ stop?" _Voice hoarse from crying EJ advances on me, menace in every step. "I don't want to hear your excuses! You don't_ care!"

" _EJ, Jack, please, just listen." I beg as I scramble backwards, away from EJ. "I love you, please don't-"_

" _No,_ you _fucking listen!" EJ lunges forward and grabs my collar, lifting me up until my toes are barely scraping the ground. I flail for purchase, fear sending my mind into overdrive. Bringing me near to his face EJ snarls, "You never cared about me! You've just been using me, haven't you?"_

 _Fighting for breath I choke out, "I never-"_

 _With a shove, EJ throws me backwards. My head connects with a tree trunk behind me with a snap. Pain lances through me and I struggle to regain my vision. Looking up, I see EJ looming over me, the picture of pain. Eyes filling with tears I whisper, "I'm sorry."_

" _I don't want your apologies." His words are punctuated by a broken sob. "I'm done Ben, I'm done with you. I_ loved _you_."

" _I loved you too." I say softly, pitiful whimpers tumbling from my lips._

" _You're lying to me." He cries. "You threw me away the moment you found something better."_

 _I can't find the words to deny his claim; all I can do is whimper and sniffle._

 _EJ's shoulders slump suddenly as the fight leaves him. "I tried you know? I_ tried _to be good enough for you. I did everything I could for you." His words hit me harder than any blow he could have landed. "I'm sorry I'm not good enough."_

 _I shake my head silently, begging him without words to stop blaming himself but he doesn't notice or care._

" _I would have given you the world Ben, I gave you everything I had. I'm sorry I'm not perfect," He turns around, hiding his face from me. "I'm sorry I'm blind. I'm sorry I can't keep up with you, I'm sorry for being a burden. I'm sorry for everything but why couldn't you have just told me you couldn't stand me? Why did you- you..." He stops, seemingly unable to continue._

 _Struggling to my feet, I reach out towards him, wanting –needing- him to turn around, to understand but somehow I know it's too late. "I'm sorry EJ, I love you." I whisper._

" _Get away from me. After that, I know how you feel." His words are icy; all emotion drained from them._

 _Fighting against the tears that still want to pour from my eyes, I take a shaky breath and say, "Fine, I'll leave. You clearly don't want me here. I'll leave and save you the trouble." The words hurt to say but I say them anyway. I don't want to leave but after this, I don't think I can bear to stay._

" _Go!" He shouts, turning sharply and waving his arms, a look of disgust on his face. "See if I care!"_

 _Unwilling to let defeat be his last image of me, I pick my head up and look him directly into his empty sockets. His face is stony and unforgiving._ This is really the end. _Noticing that I still held his mask in my hand I fling it at him and, attempting to hide the quiver in my voice, say, "At least I won't screw you over again EJ. Sorry you were too_ blind _to see what was right in front of you." With that parting shot I turn around and walk stiffly into the forest. As the distance between myself and my_ ex _-boyfriend lengthens my pace quickens. Soon I'm running as fast as I can, unable to see past the tears that are once more gathering in my vision._

 _The dimension around me surges up and spits me from it. I can feel the disgust in its movements and I don't blame it. I truly am despicable._

Oh, h-hey Sarah… I- I was just…

Reliving that night. I- I've thought about it and I really can't talk about it. It hurts too much.

Oh, yeah, I am crying… I'm sorry.

I really can't- Okay, just the gist…

EJ got pissed at me for what I did, rightly so, and I- I just left. He didn't try to stop me, in fact, he encouraged it. I don't blame him.

Yeah, I tried saying sorry to him. He didn't listen, he was to busy crying and yelling at me.

He hates me.

What do you mean 'maybe he doesn't' of course he does! How could he not?

It affected him because he thought I cared!

Well yeah, I do care. But he-

But why would he? Why would he care?

Yeah, he loved me. And I BETRAYED HIM!

I can't very well ask for forgiveness from here.

Oh? And how are you suggesting I do it? Call him?

Leave? You're kidding, right?

I- Yeah I would like to leave. But I can't ask you to help me. That would be unfair to you. The amount of trouble you would get in-

Yes, I do want to leave.

Yes, I do want to see my b- EJ again.

If you're sure…

So, next week? Sooner?!

Okay, just bring your phone and I'll do the rest.

Well, bye for now Sarah.

And thanks.

 _ **A/N: He's going to survive! This makes me so happy. And sad, because this chapter was sad, but happy. It's complicated.**_

 _ **Just like Ben's and EJ's relationship.**_

 _ **Don't worry, it'll all turn out fine!**_


	13. EJ 6

_A/N: *Wails loudly* This is the last flashback chapter. It's almost done. I don't want it to be done…_

 _And yet- The story must go on. And it's such a good story too._

 _Enjoy._

 _ **My pace slows as I reach the bottom of the stairs. Tossing my head about, I try to clear my head of the pounding pain that has taken root there.**_ **Ben doesn't care.** _**It echoes again and again, a repetitive loop that won't let me be. Desperately I press the heels of my palms into the spots where I used to have eyes to calm the pain but all I do is find the wet tracks my tears have left on my cheeks.**_

" _ **Jack!" It's Jeff.**_

 _ **Spinning on my heels I yell, "Shut up!" before grabbing the front door's knob and throwing myself out into the cool dusk air. In contrast to my violent movements, the door behind me softly swings shut and closes with a**_ **click** _ **. Stumbling the few steps to the stairs, I sink down slowly and sit on the top step.**_

 _ **Silently, tears splash down my cheeks. I let them fall. What's the point of hiding them anymore? The pain of rejection and betrayal feels too great to bear but I'm still forced to carry it.**_ **Not good enough…**

 _ **Thundering footsteps behind me bring my head up. Unwillingly, I know the gait is Ben's and a hope fills me. Hope that he'll crash through the front door and fix everything. Fix everything and pick me up off the ground with a word and a kiss.**_

 _ **His footfalls recede deeper into the house.**_ **Broken and useless…** _ **No, Ben won't come for me and I'm a fool to hope otherwise.**_ **Once a fool, always a fool.** _**My lips part as the unanswered plea finds its way to my tongue and tries to escape me. Brokenly, I swallow his name back.**_

 _ **A loud bang echoes throughout the house behind me, the sound of something, or someone, hitting the wall, and I wish it would stop. Roiling anger fills my throat as I wonder if Ben's looking for Dark Link.**_ **Why** _ **hadn't I been good enough for him?**_

 **Am I good enough for anyone?** _**The thought fills my mind with more anger and burning resentment. Maybe Ben hadn't loved me but the least he could have done was tell me that to my face instead of leaving me to find out for myself.**_

 _ **The door behind me bangs open and I only need listen a second to know who it is. Ben. He stands behind me for a second before the front door slams.**_ **Is he angry?** _**I wonder.**_ **Is he sad or is he just ashamed he got caught.**

" _ **EJ?" His small voice asks. I can hear the tears held back in his tone and I hate it, hate that he has the audacity to**_ **cry** _**after what he did to**_ **me.** _**No right, no right he doesn't**_ **care.** " _ **EJ please…" There's a whimper in his tone.**_

 **Shut up,** _ **shut up**_ **, SHUT UP!** _ **I will him to go away but he only takes a step towards me. "EJ, I'm begging you." His words are blurred as if by tears. Something in me surges up, wanting to answer him but the thought of him and**_ **Dark Link** _**knocks it back. His footsteps make their way around me until he stands before me. I don't move, I can't move. Everything hurts too much. The only thing that could make this better would be for Ben to just**_ **leave me alone.**

" _ **I'm sorry." His soft words burn in their falseness.**_ **Don't lie to me** _ **! My mind screams.**_ **Don't talk to me, just get a-**

 _ **My thoughts are cut off abruptly as Ben's small hand brushes against my cheek. Repulsion fills me and my hand flashes out, slapping his away. "Get your filthy hands off me!" I yell. The anger I've been feeling build up spills out through the words. Getting to my feet I hear the sounds of Ben scrambling to get away.**_

 _ **Ben's terror taints the air as he stammers, "EJ, I-"**_

 _ **I don't let him finish his sentence. "Shut up!" My mind lights up with fury and betrayal as I ask, "How could you do this Ben,**_ **how?"** _**My voice cracks on the last word as my feelings break out over my face no matter how much I want them to stay hidden.**_

 _ **Ben says nothing for a moment then he weakly whimpers, "EJ, I didn't mean-"**_

 **Why do you keep acting like this? This was your fault!** " _ **Will you**_ **stop** _ **?" Hoarse from the pain this boy had caused me, I advance on Ben, allowing the menace I have when killing to show through. "I don't want to hear your excuses!" I yell, "You don't**_ **care** _ **!"**_

" _ **EJ, Jack, please, just listen." He's begging with me, pleading for me to act rationally but I can't pull enough of myself together to do that. "I love you." Ben's lie sounds so real, I almost believe it. "Please don't-"**_

 _ **But I can't bring myself to listen now. "No," I scream, stopping his plea, "**_ **You** _**fucking listen!" Heat surges through my limbs as I lunge forward and grab Ben's collar, easily lifting the struggling boy off the ground. Drawing him within an inch of my face I growl, "You never cared about me! You've just been using me, haven't you?" The words hurt like hell because I know they must be true.**_

 _ **Gasping for breath he squeaks, "I never-" I can feel his words on my face and suddenly I can't stand him being this close. Roughly I throw him backwards. There's a loud resounding**_ **snap** _**as he hits a tree. Taking a step forward I stand over where I know he lays, trying to hold back the pain that is making itself plain on my face.**_

" _ **I'm sorry." He whispers, voice thick with the tears that are no doubt collecting in his eyes.**_

" _ **I don't want your apologies." I can't hold back the broken sob that bursts out of me. "I'm done Ben, I'm done with you. I**_ **loved** _ **you."**_ **But I'll never be so stupid as to fall for you again** _ **. I think fiercely.**_

 _ **Whimpers more pitiful than any noise I've ever heard Smile dog make tumble from Ben. "I loved you too." His words are no louder than a breath.**_

" _ **You're lying to me! You threw me away the moment you found something better." Oh god, the truth hurts worse than the lies he's trying to tell me. And yet, the on time I find myself praying for him to deny my words, Ben says nothing.**_

 _ **The silence is damning. Shoulders slumping I quietly say, "I tried you know? I**_ **tried** _ **to be good enough for you." Frustration builds up in me. "I did everything I could for you." Bitterly I add, "I'm sorry I'm not good enough for you. I would have given you the world Ben. I gave you everything I had."**_

 _ **Memories of our relationship hit me one after another, each one hurting more than the last. Every touch, every word, every kiss feels tainted and dirty. "I'm sorry I'm not perfect." I turn my back to Ben because I can't stop the tears anymore. "I'm sorry I'm blind. I'm sorry I can't keep up with you, I'm sorry for being a burden." The apologies tumble out hard and fast, nearly keeping pace with my tears. "I'm sorry for everything but why couldn't you have just told me you couldn't stand me? Why did you- you…" My tears cut my voice to pieces and I fall silent.**_

 _ **I listen as Ben struggles to his feet. I want to turn around but somehow, I know it's too late. This is the end. All the pain and heartache and betrayal suddenly drain, leaving me empty of anything but a unbreakable cold.**_

" _ **I'm sorry EJ, I love you." Ben whispers sadly.**_

" _ **Get away from me." My voice comes out icy and unfeeling. "After**_ **that,** _**I know how you feel."**_

 _ **He takes a shaky breath. "Fine, I'll leave." The words shock me momentarily but I brush it away. "You clearly don't want me here. I'll leave and save you the trouble."**_ **Yeah, take the coward's way out why don't you.**

" _ **Go!" I turn sharply and wave my arms, disgusted at his cowardice. "See if I care!" My voice is stony and unforgiving. This is the end.**_

 _ **Suddenly something hits my chest and I catch it without thinking. It's my mask.**_ **Funny** _**I think vaguely,**_ **I didn't even know Ben had it.** " _ **At least I won't screw you over again EJ. Sorry you were too blind to see what was right in front of you." His words have the hint of a hidden quiver in them but I disregard it.**_ **Probably can't wait to be gone.** _ **My thoughts rip through me viciously.**_

 _ **The sound of his receding footsteps confirms my thoughts.**_ **Gone** … _**The realization echoes around in my empty heart.**_

 **He'll probably be back by tomorrow.**

 _ **Stiffly I put my mask on and walk back to the mansion. The sound of the front door opening and someone stepping out gives me pause until the unmistakable of voice Dark link reaches my ears, causing me to bristle. "Hey EJ."**_

" _ **What do you want?" I spit.**_

" _ **Nothing much." He scratches the back of his neck, almost nervously before saying, "I'm sorry about the whole thing with Ben, I hope you weren't too hard on him, it wasn't his fault."**_

" _ **What the fuck are you talking about?" I hiss softly, even as horror starts to claw its way up from my gut.**_ **No, no, not possible, of** _ **course**_ **it was Ben's fault.**

" _ **I didn't realize you two were a thing." He replies, actually sounding guilty for what I'm guessing is the first time in his life. "I kind of forced myself on Ben. He fought me but…" He trails off and shrugs. "I just don't want you to think he was cheating on you. I didn't exactly give him a choice." With that he pats my arm and walks away.**_

 _ **Fresh tears fill my empty sockets as the knowledge of what I had just done fills me. Thoughts of Ben**_ **trying** _ **to explain fill my head as I slowly sink to my knees.**_

 _ **This is all my fault.**_

A/N: It's funny how the end of the story brings it back to the beginning. It's all just one continuous circle if you think about it…

Okay, I'm done waxing poetic. I'm just going to finish the next chapter…


	14. Leaving (Ben)

_**A/N: So close to the end… This is a good chapter. A happy one.**_

 _ **I have nothing more of consequence to say.**_

 _ **Enjoy!**_

My legs swing back and forth as I sit on the edge of the table that sits in the center of my white walled prison. It's been my home for the past few months but that would end today. If Sarah actually shows up, I would at last be free.

Wandering over the room my eyes pick out the individual pieces of life I'd be leaving. The small cot in the corner is mussed from my restless night's sleep. Bored, I push the metal chair I spend a good portion of the day sitting in back and forth. Staring up at the ceiling a soft breath escapes me in the form on an impatient sigh.

The soft click of the door opening brings my head around. A soft exchange of voices is followed by Sarah walking into the room. Behind her, someone closes the door, sealing us in together.

"Yo Sarah." My typical greeting feels like it's inadequate considering the circumstances. As nervous energy gathers in my veins I tap my fingers against the table top in a sharp staccato rhythm.

Sarah tucks a lock of her short brown hair behind her ear and says, "Hey." Glancing at my fingers she frowns and chides me. "Don't act so nervous."

"I'm not nervous." I protest but I still my fingers anyway. "So," I start uncertainly, "Do you have the-" My question becomes redundant as she pulls out her phone.

"I've been thinking about this." She says as she walks towards me and takes a seat in the only other chair in the room. Twisting my head around to look at her, I watch her as she continues, "I'm thinking the best way to do this is for you to knock me out before you leave."

Shocked at the cool way she mentions me purposely harming her, I don't say anything for a second then, "Are you insane?"

Giving me a wane smile Sarah says, "Probably, but this makes the most sense. Do you have enough electric power to knock me out?"

"Yeah but-"

"Good." She nods as she pulls her phone out of her pocket. "That should be the most painless way of doing it."

"Why exactly am I knocking you out?" I ask as I slide off the table and take a seat in my chair.

With a small sigh Sarah explains, "If it looks like you escaped using force, the people here are less likely to suspect me of foul play." Her reasons make perfect sense which annoys me. Shooting me a true grin Sarah asks, "Are you ready?"

An unexpected lump builds in my throat. "Yeah." I cough before asking, "Do you really think EJ will be happy to see me?"

Gently nodding Sarah replies, "I'm certain. You two definitely had something real. You just need to give him a chance and you'll have that relationship again."

This hope I've been feeling ever since yesterday swells again. "I hope you're right. I've really missed him."

"I know you have. You've been talking about it to me for months now." Tapping her phone and swiping her finger across the screen, Sarah asks, "Will getting electrocuted hurt much?"

Cringing I admit, "It's definitely gonna sting."

She shrugs. "I guess there's nothing I can do about that." Sliding her phone across the table at me she nods. "Well, I guess this is goodbye Ben. I wish you the best of luck."

As I feel myself being drawn to the phone I give a cocked grin and say, "Thanks Sarah, you're pretty awesome for a _rapist_."

Giving an exaggerated groan she complains, "That joke again?"

"Yup." With one last grin I draw the electric current running through me to my palm. "You ready?"

"As ready as I'll ever be." As Sarah closes her eyes I hesitate for a second then close my eyes. The bolt of electricity hits her chest and actually pushes the chair back an inch or two. Praying that I hadn't overdone it I touch the screen of the phone.

"Bye Sarah thanks for everything." I pull myself into the phone and I'm gone.

 _ **A/N: Beautiful.**_


	15. Home At Last (EJ)

_A/N: Well, this is the end. I'm sad it's over but happy that it's ending. I'm weird._

 _If anyone has any ideas about what I should start writing to fill the void not having this story is going to leave, please tell me._

 _Oh well, Enjoy._

" **You sure you don't want to tell me?" Jane's concern is apparent in her tone. "It might make you feel better."**

 **With a thin smile I shrug, "I doubt it." The silence between us lengthens until Jane decides to break it.**

" **Have you ever considered that Ben doesn't blame you?"**

 **I shake my head. "Yeah, I have but it doesn't make any sense. Why wouldn't he hate me?"**

 **She shrugs and casually suggests, "Maybe because he blames himself."**

" **Why would he do that?" I ask, shocked.**

" **Think about it, wouldn't you feel guilty in his position? Just because Dark Link forced himself on Ben doesn't mean he doesn't feel some sort of responsibility." Her tone is even and reasonable. Not only do her words make sense, they spark hope within me.**

" **I guess you might be right." I admit, hiding just how much hope her words have given me.**

" **Of course I'm right." She announces slyly. "I'm always right."**

" **Except when you're drunk." I add evilly. The pillow hits me a moment later. "Again with the pillows." I sigh and shake my head. "You really need to kick that habit."**

" **Oh shush." I hear her grin. "I'm going to go find Jeff." Most likely pulling a face while she says it, Jane adds, "I still have to apologize for attacking him last night."**

 **Getting to her feet she walks to the door of my room. "Bye EJ."**

 **As soon as her footsteps fade out of earshot, I get to my feet and walk to my door. Slipping out of my room I make my way down the hallway towards the staircase. I've been meaning to go up to Ben's room for a while now and right now seems like the perfect time to act on that desire.**

 **I hardly notice the majority of the trip only noticing what I'm doing as I turn the handle of Ben's door. Letting myself in, I close the door behind me and walk in, only to sit on his bed.**

 **The knots of tension in my shoulders begin to slip away as Ben's lingering presence in the room calm me. Taking a deep breath I allow my mind to drift away into the silence.**

 **A crackling sound startles me from my revere. Throwing my head around I try to gauge where the noise is coming from.**

" **Ow! Shit!" The voice sends my heart into throat.** _ **My imagination, just my imagination…**_

" **Ben?" The word comes out as a hoarse croak.**

" **EJ?" Not my imagination, real. I can hardly breathe as the realization hits me. A million apologies come to my mind but they are all knocked aside as Ben crashes into me, pushing me back onto his bed in a hug.**

" **God, I thought you were dead." I manage as I wrap my arms around him, determined to never let go.**

" **You wish it were that easy to get rid of me." Ben jokes as he pulls away slightly, no doubt studying me. Reaching a hand up, I feel him lift my mask off my face.**

" **Ben I-" I start but my words are cut short but the wonderful feel of Ben's lips being pressed to mine. As I start to drown in this sensation that I've missed so much, I realize,** _ **he tastes better than I remember.**_

 **Pulling away Ben whispers, "I've missed you so much EJ, I'm sorry-"**

 **I stop his apology with another kiss. "It's not your fault." I murmur. "Just forget it ever happened."**

 **Sniffling slightly Ben nestles into the crook of my arm and softly admits, "I thought I was never going to escape."**

" **We all thought you were dead. I thought-" The words won't come out. At last I settle on muttering, "I love you Ben."**

 **With a soft happy sigh Ben whispers, "I love you too."**

 **And this time, I'm going to make sure it lasts. After all, we have all the time in the world.**

 _A/N:… Um… *sniffles* I- I'd like to thank a few people for helping me get through this story._

 _My sister Emmie Darling has been my beta reader throughout this entire thing. I adore her._

 _Many thanks to Planeta99, WCDragonS. and Yami Papercut, they have all lent me their support and I couldn't have done this without them._

 _I also want to thank all the other people who commented on this story. Every single comment I get makes me freak out and bounce up and down joyfully yelling, 'Someone thinks I'm good at writing!'_

 _And thanks to all of the people who read this story and didn't say anything. I am one of you 99% of the time._

 _Thanks for reading._


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